hpholo

We’re on YouTube! (Or, Q&A #1: “Who does your cover art?”)

October 22, 2018 by hpholo Leave a Comment

Hey, fans! A while ago, we asked our readers on Facebook for their burning questions, and now, we’re proud to present 1) our new YouTube channel, and 2) the Q&A video series!
We kick it off with one of our most frequently asked questions:

Who does your cover art?

Check out the video below for introductions to each of our illustrators, and be sure to like and subscribe to our YouTube channel if you’d like to see more. Thanks for watching! 😀

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hswk1W962I&w=560&h=315]

Introducing the Pug of War!

July 5, 2018 by hpholo Leave a Comment

https://www.instagram.com/p/BSHI7gcBBcu/
Sometimes a piece of fanart comes along that digs into your brain and won’t let go.
Last year at SC ComiCon, Phouthong Phimmarath surprised us with this little beauty, plopping the beloved pug butler from The Wizards Way into a fierce suit of Crusader armor from The Dragons of Jupiter.
You’ll recognize Phouthong’s work if you’ve looked at the logos or squinted at the fleurons inside the print editions Seraphim Revival books. He’s already done fantastic art for us, and so it was an easy decision to commission a cleaned-up, graphical version of that initial brilliant sketch. He does a lot of sharp, graphical superhero art, too, so if you’d like to see more of this greatness, check out his art page.
Anyway, his Crusader Pug was a combination we never knew we needed, and the more we stared at it, the more we realized, we needed it on a shirt. And a poster. And a sticker. And a bookmark. And a mousepad. AND EVERYTHING. And quickly we realized that this little dude wasn’t just a doodle. He had mascot potential.
And so now we bring you the new face of Holo Writing:

The Pug of War

Sweet, snuggly, and loyal, there’s no pug you’d rather have by your side. Especially when threats like giant robots and alien bugs and evil wizards show up. When he can’t solve a problem with snuggles…well, that’s what the Gatling gun’s for. But snuggles are his preferred method of attack. I mean, just look at his squishy squish face! 😀 😀 😀
No one knows from whence he came or why, but he will be there when the world needs him.
On a related note, we’ll be bringing Pug of War swag with us to cons, but if we’re not coming to a con near you, never fear! That’s what our new loot shop is for!

Here you’ll be able to find shirts, posters, signed books, and other miscellaneous Holo Writing swag! We’re still waiting on a few more products to post before its ~ Official Launch ~ but until then, feel free to swing on by and check out some adorable, awesome stuff! 😀 😀 😀

Dog Aliens #1: Raffle’s Name – Book Review

July 2, 2018 by hpholo Leave a Comment

I spotted Dog Aliens #1: Raffle’s Name by Cherise Kelley on a Book Barbarian promo, and with my love of all things animal and sci-fi, how could I turn it down?
In Dog Aliens, Clem is not a dog, but rather a Kaxian, an alien race that looks exactly like Earth dogs and is living on earth to mine for Jex. Jex is a mineral that humans don’t need but is intensely important to the Kaxian – and to the Niques, another race of dog aliens who will do anything in their power to stop the Kaxian from getting the Jex.
This sounds like a setup for an epic animal story via Erin Hunter’s Warriors or Kathryn Lasky’s Guardians of Ga’Hoole, but really it’s the tale of Clem as he goes on various little adventures, from finding a new family once he’s abandoned by his original owner, escaping from his new careless owner, trying to get adopted from a shelter, fending off pesky cats and Niques – and figuring out his strange new ability to influence minds by projecting “mind movies” onto them.
The story lacks direction because of this episodic structure, but I doubt this will matter for its target audience, which is young middle schoolers and people who just love to read about dogs. For those readers, it’s fun to see earthly dog habits explained in Kaxian terms: Dogs dig all the time because they’re mining for Jex; they eat Jex to carry it, poop it to deliver it, and eat it again to carry it further if needs be. Not all of the content has earth dog parallels, though: Kaxians, for example, have multiple lives (as cats are reputed to, not dogs), and the book never establishes why exactly Jex is so important.
This may detract from the enjoyment of picky readers (Personally, I wanted more details about nearly all nontraditional elements of the story). Others who are looking for a quick, clean read, though, will enjoy it. The book is clear from the beginning that it’s a gentle read, with page one clearly stating that no dogs die, and in general it’s pretty tame, though there is one scene where a bad owner threatens to hit a dog with a frying pan and another wherein a dog in a shelter hopes that it won’t send him to his next life (i.e. implying he’s in a kill shelter).
Ultimately, it’s a quick, fun read for fans of talking animal adventures.
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Note: Holo Writing is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and, as such, may earn a small commission from any product purchased through an affiliate link on this blog.

EXCITING NEWS involving Jacob, David Weber, and a NEW BOOK!

May 9, 2018 by hpholo Leave a Comment

I have a funny Liberty Con story: My fellow authors and I were gathering for our Sunday panel last summer, proudly displaying our books so everyone could see what we’d written. Suddenly the author next to me sees The Wizard’s Way. His eyes go wide and starry (I may have imagined this) and he asks, “You wrote a book with Jacob Holo? Is that the same Jacob Holo that’s writing a book with David Weber?”
So now I am mildly famous by association by association, which is funny. But not actually the point of this story.
The point of this story is that Jacob indeed WROTE A NOVEL WITH DAVID FREAKING DADDY OF HONOR HARRINGTON, CREATOR OF SAFEHOLD WEBER.

ACTUAL PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BhFzPU6lj3P/
By this point, it would be more correct to say that David and Jacob just signed a contract for the novel with Baen Books and are working on the final draft, so it will be happening later rather than sooner.
Until then, I imagine you probably want to know more about this mysterious book.
Once upon a time, Jacob told me he’d never write a time travel novel. Well, when David Weber asks you if you want to write a time travel novel with him, you change your mind. Unfortunately, we can’t reveal more than that until closer to the release, but rest assured, it’s a novel in which lots of things explode because, hello, look at the authors.
We don’t have a projected release date yet, but a perfect way to keep up with the book’s progress is to join our mailing list. More news of this exciting project will reach you as soon as we have it!

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Note: Holo Writing is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and, as such, may earn a small commission from any product purchased through an affiliate link on this blog.

What to Read While You Wait for The Wizard’s Circus (or, a Gift Guide for Steampunk/Wizard/Magic Nerds)

March 11, 2018 by hpholo Leave a Comment

Hey, wizard fans! It’s been a while since you’ve heard from me about The Wizard’s Circus, but rest assured, it’s still on its way! The first draft is over halfway finished, with plenty of bears and Pentalion (and if you have no idea what any of that means, find out in Book One, The Wizard’s Way).
In the meantime, here are some reads for you to check out while you wait! These are all books that have influenced my writing of The Wizard’s Quartet series thus far – or, in a few cases, books that spurred me along when I needed that extra touch of inspiration.

The Color of Magic by Terry Pratchett

Okay, first of all, if you’ve never read any Terry Pratchett, you need to drop everything right now, take a few weeks off, and delve into the brilliant fantasy comedy satire that is the Discworld series (and then check out all the BBC miniseries, too, because they’re legit).
The Color of Magic is the first in the series and follows the hapless wizard Rincewind and tourist Twoflower as they go on adventures and get into trouble involving everything from dragons to Death himself to a sentient luggage with feet.
The amazing thing about Terry Pratchett is that he wrote better books while suffering from Alzheimer’s than most people can with a fully functioning brain. You can’t go wrong with any book from the Discworld series, but if you’d like a little direction, some of my other favorites include Interesting Times, Hogfather, The Wee Free Men, Going Postal, Making Money, Monstrous Regiment, and Thud!

Etiquette & Espionage by Gail Carriger

This was the first of Gail Carriger’s books that I read, and I’ve solidly gone from skimming the ARC to wholeheartedly recommending everything else I’ve read of hers (which, at this point, is Curtsies & Conspiracies, Waistcoats & Weaponry, and her two adult series starters, Soulless and Prudence). Gail Carriger is my go-to author when I need some steampunk writing inspiration; her works are a perfect blend of steampunk comedy, magical technology, and Victorian prissiness. Etiquette & Espionage in particular is a fun girl-spy-in-training-on-a-floating-airship-school novel, with an engaging cast of characters and also a hot werewolf and a robotic weiner dog named Bumbersnoot. If you’re into audiobooks, Moira Quirk’s readings of The Finishing School Series are also fantastic.

View from the Imperium by Jody Lynn Nye

JEEVES AND WOOSTER IN SPACE, Y’ALL. That is all.

The Jeeves and Wooster series by P.G. Wodehouse

All right, I can’t mention Jeeves and Wooster without mentioning the actual Jeeves and Wooster books. Pentalion and Chaucey were loosely written to be a steampunked version of the two wherein Jeeves was a swordfighting pug and Wooster was less of an imbecile. (Oh sure, Chaucey still gets himself into trouble, but it has more to do with his being a precocious teenager with some truly wild issues, as opposed to someone who’s just basically dumb.)
Admittedly, the A&E TV series starring Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie as the title characters influenced The Wizard’s Quartet more so than P. G. Wodehouse’s original books (primarily because I’d marathoned the whole series before I even touched the books), but the books naturally hold as much charm as the series. When I needed some extra inspiration (for Pentalion in particular) I’d pick up any book in the Jeeves and Wooster series.

Mortal Engines by Philip Reeve

I could write a whole blog post devoted to Philip Reeve and his fantasy worlds. In fact, I’ve already reviewed Mortal Engines in more detail and a review of Larklight (mentioned below) is forthcoming. Aside from Gail Carriger, Philip Reeve is easily my favorite steampunk author because his worlds are so delightfully imaginative and so effortlessly steampunk. As much as I love it, I find that a lot of steampunk reads like it’s trying so hard to be steampunk, bless its heart. Reeve’s work doesn’t feel like it’s trying at all; it feels like he put pen to paper and magic just happened because some divine being thought readers needed some good in this world. Mortal Engines’ good, in particular, is a tale of traveling cities that eat other cities, amongst plenty of moral dilemmas.

Larklight by Philip Reeve

Where Mortal Engines explores the dark post-apocalyptic underbelly of a steampunk world, Larklight takes readers in the exact opposite direction – into outer space, where pirates and lizard people and giant robot spiders in bowler hats await. Readers who love the whimsical side of steampunk will have a hard time finding a better book.

Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer

Artemis Fowl was one of those pivotal series that I read before I even knew I wanted to write, and that worked its way into my writing style like a force all its own. I owe my current approach to fantasy humor to Terry Pratchett, but Eoin Colfer was the first to show me the possibilities of magical action comedy and even fantasy linguistics. The series-titled first book is a clever, sassy, devious thing that combines young criminal geniuses with magic, fictional languages, and wonderful puns. (Turns out that the word “leprechaun” is just a misunderstanding of “LepRECON,” which is an organization of militarized magical folk.) The second book, The Arctic Incident, takes these basics and then ramps up into a full-on action-adventure story, and the series only spirals into more exciting mayhem from there.

Airman by Eoin Colfer

If you like reading about Chaucey because he’s building a flying machine, here’s a book for you. Historical adventure that is far more adventure than history*, it follows young inventor Conor Broekhart as he goes from being born in the midst of a hot air balloon crash, to building one of the first powered flying machines, to being framed for a crime he didn’t commit…and all the rollicking mayhem that ensues. It’s a fun, fast-paced read that often gets lost amidst Colfer’s avalanche of other work and guided the writing of The Wizard’s Way’s many flight scenes.
*I was disappointed after reading to find that the history of the Saltee Islands was completely made up for the story, so this book is to historical fiction as Indiana Jones is to archaeology.

The Raven Cycle series by Maggie Stiefvater

I discovered this series too late for it to actually shape the world of The Wizard’s Quartet, and truly, it doesn’t have much in common with the series other than magic. When it comes to editing rough drafts, though, the audiobook adaptations of this series were my go-to inspiration material. Maggie Stiefvater has a majestic way with words, and Will Patton’s reading imbues each character with unique life.
Paranormal urban fantasy isn’t usually my cup of tea, but this series not only made me like this tea, but savor it.

Delilah Dirk and the Turkish Lieutenant by Tony Cliff

Swordfighting? Check. Globetrotting? Check. Flying ships? Check. A lady adventurer who escapes from dungeons and fights tigers and robs a pirate’s treasure like it ain’t no thang? Check. A Turkish lieutenant…er…inadvertent traitor who just wants to survive it all and drink some tea? Check.
I returned to this book again and again when I needed some inspiration for The Wizard’s Way because, even though it’s not about steampunk magic or pug butlers, it hits all of the stylistic notes that I wanted the novel to hit – namely its sense of high-stakes derring-do and effortless wit. Its sequel, Delilah Dirk and the King’s Shilling, expands nicely upon the first, and a third, Delilah Dirk and the Pillars of Hercules, is forthcoming (and eagerly awaited on my part!).

Love, Lies, and Hocus Pocus series by Lydia Sherrer

I literally finished the first book in this series a month before writing this entry, but I can solidly say that fans of The Wizard’s Way will find everything to love in these books. There are wizards, witches, plenty of sass, two wonderfully complex and well-designed magic systems, and (in later entries) a talking cat.

Akata Witch by Nnedi Okorafor

I’ve spread the gospel of this one, too, and put off reading the last chapter of its sequel forever just because I don’t want it to be over. Akata Witch isn’t steampunk, nor does it feature talking animals – but it is the standard to which I hold my fantasy worldbuilding. In Leopard Knocks and its magical Leopard People, Okorafor has created a truly original magic society, albeit one with strong echoes of the familiar (There are a lot of surface similarities to Harry Potter, even though they’re spiritually different). Anytime I’m bummed about writing and need some inspiration, I come back to Nnedi Okorafor’s books.

The Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling

What? I’m a millennial. For me, every wizard thing goes back to Harry Potter, and in its earliest stage, The Wizard’s Way literally goes back to me saying, “I want to write a story about a wizard, but I want wizardry to make his life suck so it’s different from Harry Potter.” (Sorry, Chaucey.) 😛
That’s all for now! Readers, what books have been getting you through the wait for The Wizard’s Circus? 😀
***
Note: Holo Writing is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and, as such, may earn a small commission from any product purchased through an affiliate link on this blog.

Akame Ga Kill – Anime Review

February 18, 2018 by hpholo Leave a Comment

*Thanks to reader John B. for the recommendation! 😀
Akame Ga Kill is a deceptive series.
Its colorful character designs and opening set up – Main character Tatsumi leaves home with two friends to join the Capital army and Be Good Guys – lead the viewer to think that it’s going to be a fun shonen series where characters solve problems through lots of yelling and the power of friendship. After all, the show’s first problem sees Tatsumi separated from his friends and resting at the home of a sweet, hospitable aristocratic family and their soft-hearted daughter, Aria.

It’s not fifteen minutes before the series goes “LOL jk ;P” and rears its disturbing head.
Tatsumi’s two friends? Oh, he finds them. In a vast and gory torture house kept by that family’s sweet, soft-hearted daughter. Who captures and kills lower class wayfarers, because why not? After all, they’re just poor and unnecessary people.
In case you need more evidence of how crazy she is, here’s a pic of her at the height of her crazy:

And the Capital that Tatsumi aims to fight for? Turns out it’s full of more of the same. But he doesn’t find this out until Night Raid, a notorious team of assassins, shows up at the torture house to reveal the truth. Everyone outside the capital has been lied to about the Capital’s competence and purity. By that point, Tatsumi’s allegiance is decided.
Akame Ga Kill, then, is the story of Night Raid as they assassinate all the bad guys.

Akame Ga Kill is a flawed anime, but if you’re looking for a bright, colorful, and yet exceedingly tragic, bloody show, it fits the bill. Its particular brand of insanity is what anime does best – and oh, there is SO MUCH insanity – but you have to be in the mood for its violent sense of morality.
Granted, the series isn’t trying to make you ponder the complexities of said morality. It gets around the obvious moral issue of solving problems though murder by making most every one of the antagonists an undeniable caricature of abject evil. Prime Minister Honest (ha) is a nasty piece of work, the true power behind the child Emperor’s throne, interested only in maintaining his power and blatantly corrupting the young Emperor to do it, all while munching gluttonously on raw meat.

The most obvious in the series, though, is General Esdeath. One of the most powerful military leaders in the Empire, her mantra is “The strong survive and the weak die,” and she tests the strength of her opponents to sadistic ends, at one point even burying a population of 400,000 people alive.

In most cases, I’d consider the extreme characterization to be cheap writing, but Akame Ga Kill has such fun with the absolute wackiness of its characters, good and bad, that this was for once forgivable. Seryu Ubiquitous may be an overzealous Capital soldier with a twisted sense of justice, but this zeal also led her to have hidden guns installed in the stumps of her arms and her throat, which is simultaneously disturbing and hilarious.

And that’s before you even get to the adorable horror that is her pet (and additional weapon) Coro.

(This is not his final form.)
For real, this show watches like Soul Eater and One Piece had a baby and then left it to be raised by Future Diary.
That said, Akame Ga Kill is a show that you watch for how wack it is. Even the good guys have their levels of crazy, like Sheele, whose backstory is that she’s so darn clumsy and absent-minded that she can’t find anything she’s good at…until she happens to go on a murdering spree and realizes she’s just that good at killing people. (Also she fights with a giant pair of scissors.)

And even though Tatsumi is easily the most well-balanced of the characters, it takes him and his innocent-looking sweater less than half an episode to decide that he wants to kill everyone he’d wanted to work for fifteen minutes before.
But that doesn’t mean the characters aren’t well developed in their own weird ways. The first several episodes of the series are a bit average, but when The Jaegers take the place of the early antagonists, the series really begins to take off.

Mundane-looking Wave is a do-gooder like Tatsumi who just hasn’t realized what the Capital’s up to. He’s what Tatsumi could have become if he hadn’t come upon Aria’s murder house, and this makes him surprisingly easy to sympathize with. Bols is a creepy-looking silent type…who stays creepily silent only because he’s too shy to speak up, and is actually something of a family man. Angel-haired Run is allied to the Capital only because he sees the revolutionary cause as a lost one and wants to do actual good from within the flawed structure. Though Seryu is nuts, she genuinely believes her intentions are pure. Granted, the stylish Dr. Stylish is just nuts and the remaining Kurome has a rather uninteresting backstory. But even General Esdeath has a softer side: despite her infamous sadism, she only wants to experience true love, and when she eats a good ice cream, wonders if her soldiers would enjoy it. This doesn’t really make up for the fact that she’s an absolute sociopath, but it is amusing to watch, if only for its absurdity.
Overall, this is a show that you watch more for its characters than its plot – first because the plot is the very simple “Kill all the bad guys,” second because the plot is not very good.
Akame Ga Kill watches like a show that tries to do both too much and too little in the expanse of its allotted time. The first several episodes watch like baddie-of-the-week filler, albeit entertaining filler. The series also introduces the concept of the 48 Imperial Arms – some truly neat magical weapons – but doesn’t explore them beyond using them to give the characters their identifying abilities, and generally watches like a device that was intended for a longer show that didn’t happen. (We don’t even see half of the 48.) There’s also a point where Esdeath decides that Tatsumi is her true love; Tatsumi confesses his connection to Night Raid in the same episode, hoping her affection for him will cause her to change sides. She doesn’t, viewing his confession as merely cute, which is not remotely believable behavior for a general who’s famous for subjugating enemies of the Empire in horrific ways – and whose very goal is to destroy Night Raid.

The climax of the show is also a hot mess, with the young Emperor realizing that he hasn’t been a good Emperor and that he’s been surrounded by complete sadists (HOW COULD HE NOT NOTICE?)…and then bemoaning his condition by whipping out the biggest Imperial Arms ever and wrecking the heck out of the Capital. Because that will certainly make up for all his failures. 😐
There’s not even a clear reason for the title by the end. Sure, the titular tsundere Akame plays a significant role in the series, especially after her sister Kurome shows up as an antagonist, but her role’s no more significant than that of the other protagonists. (It’s telling that I didn’t feel the need to mention her before this point.)
Maybe she earned the title because she’s one of the few survivors? (Oh, right, like you expected a show like this to let your favorite characters live. 😛 )
Still, despite its flaws, Akame Ga Kill is worth watching for what it does well. It’s not for everyone – particularly those who dislike bloody violence or shows that require a huge suspension of disbelief – but if you’re already accustomed to the wacky heights that anime can achieve, it’s a fun show.

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Note: Holo Writing is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and, as such, may earn a small commission from any product purchased through an affiliate link on this blog.

Self-Publishing for Profit – Book Review

February 18, 2018 by hpholo Leave a Comment

These days, “How to Self-Publish” books are a dime a dozen. Chris Kennedy’s Self-Publishing for Profit is $6.99 on Kindle, but it’s easily the best $6.99 you’ll ever spend if you’re looking to break into self-publishing.
Kennedy’s writing background is similar to that of many indie writers, which is to say, he’d never really been a writer until he suddenly had an idea that wouldn’t let go (in this case, the idea that became his book Red Tide: The Chinese Invasion of Seattle). Since then, he’s gone from never having written a novel at all to writing several series and an ever-growing universe with several other authors and running his own publishing house. All this said, it makes him a perfect teacher for new writers who are starting in a similar position.
This is what makes Self-Publishing for Profit stand out from other self-publishing books. Though its first three sections focus on information similar to what you’d find in other books – namely, marketing and engagement – the fourth is where the book becomes truly valuable for writing newbies. It outlines everything from how to figure out what kind of book you should write (Tip: Don’t just follow trends, and try to be niche when you can.), to creative writing tips he learned through trial and error, to a section literally titled “How Not to Look Like a Newbie.” Formally-trained writers won’t have much use for this section, but if you’ve barely ever picked up a pencil except to write a grocery list, this is the section for you.
Formally-trained writers, depending upon their experience with book production, will have some use for the fifth section, which outlines how to perfect a book for publication. This section covers the different types of editing (copyediting and content editing), how to go about finding editors, words to avoid, and simple ways to tighten up your writing. Before I started publishing, writing had been one of the defining elements of my life – the people around me have identified me as “the writer” since 4th grade, and I took as many creative writing classes as I could and even majored in creative writing at one point – and there were a few practical tips in this book that I hadn’t come across even in my years of study!
These sections, then, are a gem for the new and inexperienced writer. The subsequent sections, however, are invaluable for writers of all kinds. Sections six through nine cover the important details one must consider to give a book the best chance of selling. Section six covers basics like cover design, while section seven covers how to make the book available for sale as an eBook. Section eight, though, is where this area begins to shine, covering the many ways in which books can be repackaged for sale – as print books, audiobooks, or foreign-language editions – and providing the reader with the resources to make those versions happen. This is perhaps the most valuable thing about this book – for every piece of advice given, there are links to resources where readers can pursue that topic further. Section nine delves back into marketing, and the book ends with section ten, which explores what to do next, whether you want to continue producing books, or whether you want to figure out why your current book isn’t selling as well as you’d hoped.
All in all, Self-Publishing for Profit stuffs a whole lot of information into a small, quick, easy-to-read package. If you want to self-publish but have no idea where to start, this is a great place, and even if you already publish, it can’t hurt to give it a read. You’re bound to learn something new!
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Note: Holo Writing is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and, as such, may earn a small commission from any product purchased through an affiliate link on this blog.

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi – Movie Review

December 17, 2017 by hpholo Leave a Comment

SPOILER SPACE! SPOILER SPACE! SPOILER SPACE! SPOILER SPACE! SPOILER SPACE! SPOILER SPACE! SPOILER SPACE! SPOILER SPACE! SPOILER SPACE! SPOILER SPACE! SPOILER SPACE! SPOILER SPACE! SPOILER SPACE! SPOILER SPACE! SPOILER SPACE! SPOILER SPACE! SPOILER SPACE! SPOILER SPACE! SPOILER SPACE! SPOILER SPACE! SPOILER SPACE! SPOILER SPACE! SPOILER SPACE! SPOILER SPACE!

SPOILERS AHEAD.

YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.

H.P. is a pretty casual Star Wars fan. Which is to say, she enjoyed the original three, tolerates the prequels, loves the porgs even if she wonders what they taste like, and her most pressing fan question is “WHYYYY hasn’t the Star Wars Christmas Special been re-released yet?”
Jacob is not. Which is to say, his first pieces of writing were Star Wars fanfic. He has a level of reverence for the Empire that would give Kylo Ren goosebumps. He decorated the Holo dining room with Imperial Fleet propaganda. The Holo dining room table is frequently covered with not dinner, but Imperial Star Wars Armada miniatures, their cards all arranged in the plotting of his next devastating fleet. His most pressing fan question is “WHYYYY does the First Order even exist?”
All this to say, we covered both target audiences that The Last Jedi aimed to please.
Which is to say, when a fan who wants to see a Christmas Special release is disappointed by your movie, you’ve done something wrong.
Which is to say, when a fan whose dining room is a mini Star Wars shrine erupts into an angry rant that ends in impassioned manly fanboy tears at your movie, you’ve done something wrong.
(Seriously, guys, you missed out on some potential Internet gold last week.
Jacob’s still so angry at the movie that H.P. had to write this review.
Also seriously, f*** the First Order.)
To be fair, The Last Jedi is not a bad sci-fi movie. It’s not even a disappointing sci-fi movie. It is, however, an intensely disappointing Star Wars movie. Star Wars is as looming a behemoth in the fandom world as Disney is in the moviemaking world, and both are at their height right now. Given this situation, and its great if derivative trailer, one would expect The Last Jedi to be a perfect marriage of everything fans love about Star Wars and the massive resources Disney can devote to a project of that scale.
Of the considerable resources Disney did fling at this movie, none of them were in the writing department, which is where every single piece of this movie fails.
There are plenty of good moments in The Last Jedi – most of its humor is laugh-out-loud (even if it approaches being too goofy), and the art direction is stellar, especially in the climax – but a movie needs more than a string of unconnected moments to pull it together.
The plot, simply put, is terrible. Its most glaring flaw is the pacing. Most of the film comes down to the Resistance fleet, low on fuel and unable to jump to hyperspace, slowly puttering just out of reach of the pursuing First Order’s cannons. This is literally the opposite of the exciting space battles one expects of Star Wars. Switch to Rey in her quest to recruit Luke Skywalker to the Resistance cause, and we have more waiting – first for Luke to be something other than a crotchety old man who has no time for Rey, then for him to decide to train Rey, then take it back when her power scares him. Switch to the First Order, where Kylo Ren has fallen from grace and struggles with his own deep internal conflict – which could be interesting, but is only expressed through strange Force conversations that he’s able to hold with Rey (any advancements made in which are completely negated by a late-movie twist).
I honestly do not understand how anyone could read this slow-paced mess and decide to throw millions of dollars of funding behind it.
Even worse, though, is the way the movie handles its characters. For all its flaws, The Force Awakens at least set up some interesting characters and relationships – Finn and Poe and their frequent Need of Pilot, Rey and her mysterious backstory, Kylo Ren and all his issues. The Last Jedi explores none of that. In fact, it separates Finn from Poe, reducing Finn to a coward who starts the movie by trying to desert (despite being able to go toe-to-toe with Kylo Ren in the previous movie) and ends up roped into an off-ship side quest trying to hide that he was deserting. Poe, meanwhile, is back on the Resistance cruiser being a loose cannon and generally not being a pilot (except for the movie’s opening scene). Rey spends so much time trying to win Luke that when he finally starts training her, it’s a relief, not a joy, and we don’t learn any more about her than we’d already guessed, even if we do get some neat, weird metaphysical scenes out of it. Of the new trilogy characters, Kylo Ren’s arc had the most potential for development—and did have several exciting “Ooo!” moments—but his considerable internal conflict doesn’t lead him anywhere new or interesting by the end.
Supreme Leader Snoke and Captain Phasma get the worst of it, though. Captain Phasma, at least among fan expectations, has been built up to be an imposing antagonist as cool as her armor. I forgave The Force Awakens for not cashing in on that because, after all, there were two more movies coming at that point, but in The Last Jedi, all Captain Phasma does is botch an execution, fight once, and then fall into a flame pit. Snoke’s identity and ultimate plan was another such highly-anticipated reveal, only to be revealed as…nothing. The only things we learn about him are that he is, in fact, not as giant as his holograms suggest and that he has really snappy taste in bathrobes. He dies without any meaningful bits of his mystery being solved, in the most obnoxious tease-without-a-payoff of the entire movie.

I feel you, Rey.
Again, I simply cannot understand why someone greenlit a script that solved none of the mysteries fans were clamoring to see solved. (We do learn the secret of who Rey’s parents are, and it is unexpected, but it also comes from an untrustworthy source, so who knows if that’s the actual truth?)
Now—ONLY NOW—do we come to the flaws that drove Jacob to absolute nerdrage on the way home from the theatre.

As an avid Armada nerd, Jacob knows his Star Wars military strategy. Whoever created the military circumstances of The Last Jedi does not, and does it hard. The First Order and Resistance are two complete disasters of military planning, and it’s evident from the very first scene.
In it, the First Order hypers in to take out a Resistance base, armed with several star destroyers and a dreadnought, which is basically a bigger, angrier star destroyer with nice guns…and apparently no shields. And no combat space patrol to escort it. Only after Poe—just Poe—flies in on his sassy X-wing and starts taking out cannons does the leadership think it prudent to sent out some TIE fighters to maybe wreck him. But oops, they’re too late; he’s done his job, which is apparently to distract the entire First Order fleet so that five big-ass bombers can appear out of nowhere and advance with excruciatingly slow speed toward the unshielded dreadnought.
Logical problems run rampant here: If the bombers are that slow, how could the First Order not notice them coming in the first place? And if they hypered in, why not hyper in on top of the dreadnought and drop their load there? But wait, you might say! “Drop their load? They’re in space! What gravity are they expecting to pull these bombs into free fall?” Well, The Last Jedi hears your question and answers…actually nope. It doesn’t. But the scene at least gives us some fun Poe being Poe and a touching self-sacrifice (not Poe), so there’s that.
Proceed to the main plot, during which the Resistance fleet is forced to slowly motor away from the ever-patient First Order, and you encounter the frustrating problem of “THE RESISTANCE IS TRAVELING IN A SLOW, STRAIGHT LINE, AND THE FIRST ORDER HAS HYPERSPACE CAPABILITIES. WHY NOT HYPER SOME STAR DESTROYERS OUT IN FRONT OF THE RESISTANCE FLEET AND WIPE THEM OUT IN A SECOND OR JUST SWARM THEM WITH TIE FIGHTERS instead of following them slowly and politely through space I swear is General Hux in the back playing Angry Porgs when he’s not on screen?
It’s not like he’s a competent general, anyway; otherwise he might have realized that the First Order—which nearly controls the entire galaxy—vs. the last 400 Resistance fighters is not a war. It’s an itch, a skirmish at most. A single star destroyer carries more personnel than remains in the entire Resistance (70,000 to be precise)! The scale of this conflict is so unbelievably one-sided that I can’t even fathom how these 400 fighters have managed to evade the First Order in the first place, especially as easily as they’re picked off in this movie, and especially since they’re traveling together in one convenient package. The only explanation I can come up with is that they’re protected by the sheer badassery of Carrie Fisher, which given the logic of this movie, is as reasonable as anything else.

Proceed to the next phase of the plot, where a forgotten, uncharted Rebel base randomly shows up to give the Resistance a big ol’ dose of Hope, and the Resistance decides to evacuate its doomed cruiser to make for the base. In transports that don’t have hyperdrives, even though EVERY Resistance ship has hyperdrives. (On that point, why all head to the base to begin with? Why not scatter and force the First Order to chase more than one target?) That’s another disaster of strategy, but worse is what the movie could have done with this scene, compared to what the movie actually did.
Early in the movie, Princess Leia is knocked out of commission, the rest of the leadership is blown to bits, and so a new character whom I’ve never heard of but is presumably a great leader steps in to take her place. I can’t remember her name, so I’m going to call her Effie Trinket, because she looks like her and has about as much substance…but still gets a heroic death when she decides to stay with the cruiser and provide a distraction…in the form of turning the cruiser toward the First Order and hypering through the whole fleet (more on that later. UGH SO MUCH MORE). Effie isn’t developed. We’re supposed to feel sad at her sacrifice, but we don’t, because we as viewers don’t know her. You know who could have gotten a deservingly heroic death out of that scene? PRINCESS F*****G LEIA. Or even Admiral Ackbar, going down on his iconic Mon Calamari ship. Not some invented one-shot who does nothing more than be a pretty purple piece of cardboard with the apparent ability to break the laws of even Star Wars physics.
Which brings up another great, frustrating flaw. In the very first Star Wars movie (okay, fourth by modern chronology), it’s clearly established that if a hyperdrive detects any obstacles in its path, it sits down like a finicky two-year-old and goes NOPE until its path looks perfect again. It doesn’t have any safeties to be deactivated. It just DOESN’T. And it certainly doesn’t hyper through an entire space fleet.
At least, it didn’t. But here, what makes for a superficially badass scene and sacrifice ultimately rips the world of Star Wars physics apart (and there wasn’t much to begin with). If it’s now possible to hyper through things, why not make hyperdrive-equipped missiles? In fact, why not just strap hyperdrives to anvils if that’s all it takes to wreck a star destroyer? That small suggestion alone completely changes the face of warfare in the Star Wars universe and brings up the all-encompassing flaw in The Last Jedi:
If the movie isn’t going to care about its own lore, why should I?
That is ultimately what sucks the magic out of The Last Jedi.
I can enjoy even a mediocre plot if the world sets and respects its own rules. Once a world breaks its rules for the convenience of its plot, I’m done, and unfortunately, The Last Jedi is a thorough world-breaker.
The film doesn’t even do its fan-service well. In the climax on the Rebel base, it misses a perfect opportunity to send the heroes out in classic X-wings and Y-wings, but instead sends them out in rickety space jalopies that don’t even have a particularly interesting design.
Mercifully, The Last Jedi does have one redeeming quality.

About the only thing it handled well was Luke Skywalker’s personal arc, which sees him through a hard, emotional transformation and drags him through a spiritual gauntlet before launching him out to a truly fitting end. The final battle of the movie has some logical flaws (in terms of military strategy, because of course), but beyond those it’s the stuff Star Wars dreams are made of. Visually, it’s damn beautiful, and emotionally it hits all the notes that the rest of the movie should have hit.

In retrospect, I probably should have cried at the end, and am actually tearing up a bit right now thinking about how well-done it was. But when it happened in the theater, I was so pissed at the rest of the movie that I was just ready for it to be over, which is something neither I, nor Jacob, ever thought we’d say about a Star Wars movie.
Except for its isolated high points, The Last Jedi is an expensive, flashy, unmitigated disaster that might even be on par with Episode III.
But hey, at least it gave us the porgs.

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Note: Holo Writing is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and, as such, may earn a small commission from any product purchased through an affiliate link on this blog.

Entwined – Book Review

November 23, 2017 by hpholo Leave a Comment

Azalea is trapped. Just when she should feel that everything is before her . . . beautiful gowns, dashing suitors, balls filled with dancing . . . it’s taken away. All of it. The Keeper understands. He’s trapped, too, held for centuries within the walls of the palace. And so he extends an invitation. Every night, Azalea and her eleven sisters may step through the enchanted passage in their room to dance in his silver forest. But there is a cost. The Keeper likes to keep things. Azalea may not realize how tangled she is in his web until it is too late.
Dun-dun-DUNNN.
So reads the inner flap of Entwined by Heather Dixon.

I picked up this novel, first, because its cover was beautiful, second, because there is no cover mention of a dashing, mysterious boy for Azalea to fall in love with (always a danger behind pretty girl-in-a-dress covers), and third, because a line on the first page describes someone who “dances like a brick.” As someone who does, indeed dance like a brick, I can empathize with that. Also, as far as similes go, that’s a pretty good one, and I am a fan of good similes.
Dancing is wholly important to Entwined, as it is based upon the fairy tale “The Twelve Dancing Princesses.” However, though it has fairy tale roots, it is not entirely the froofy novel that one might expect. Oh, there are plenty of balls and suitors and giggling in poofy dresses and, especially, spinning around to an array of dances that no one but a ballroom dancing aficionado could recognize. Plenty. Beneath its glittery surface, though, Entwined is ultimately a story of loss, recovery, and sisterly girl power, and as fairy tale adaptations go, it’s one of the more satisfying ones out there.
Oddly for a fairy tale novel, Entwined doesn’t give many early hints that it is based upon a fairy tale, which was one of its strengths for me. There are some references to old magic that lingers in the royal family’s palace, as well as the disgustingly evil former king who magicked the place, but most of the pages are devoted to the twelve sisters and their relationships with each other and their father. There is a mother at one point, too, but in classic fairy tale fashion, she’s dead before the story even gets going. (This is not a spoiler. The moment you meet the sweet, loving, sickly mom who smells of cake and baby oil, you know she’s a goner.)
The interactions between these characters are believable and interesting, often in unanticipated ways. The sisters’ relationship with their father, while precarious, even uncomfortable at first, became one of my favorite parts of this novel. I also liked how the author managed to keep all twelve sisters present in the story. She could have easily chosen to select two or three of them to represent the whole and then shooed the rest to the background, but she didn’t. Readers do see more of oldest sisters Azalea, Bramble and Clover (The sisters are named in alphabetical order, like hurricanes), but the others appear often enough to make the reader feel the largeness and, more importantly, the closeness of the group.
Even the minor characters in this novel are well-used, even though most of them begin the story as either supreme irritations or suspiciously likable in the obvious-romantic-interest way. A character of the latter sort almost derailed my liking of the book early on. At the book’s opening ball, we meet the rumpled yet dashing Lord Bradford, who has such amazing dexterity that he can catch a falling pudding glass and leave its contents perfectly undisturbed. In my experience, when a character is rumpled, dashing, and named “Lord” anything, when he impresses the ladies with amazing feats of legerdemain, and when he appears less than 30 pages in, you know some sweet, passionate, period novel romance is coming. Usually. Luckily, Entwined does not go down this path, even though it could easily have done so. And though I was initially skeptical of him, Lord Bradford gradually earned the honor of being added to My List of Fictional Guys that I Would Totally Date If They Popped Into The Real World. Another favorite was the unfortunately named Lord Teddie Haftenravenscher, who despite his initially irritating presence rendered many scenes in which he appeared hilarious. The same is true of other suitors who show up trying to win the princesses’ hands. The cast of characters in this book is large, but each one is handled well for the purposes of the story.
The one main downside to this large cast, though, is that in a book this size, it leaves minimal room for characterization. The characters are likable and well-described, but even the princesses do not change much, except to have momentary spurts of courage or realize that they are in love. In fact, the only person who undergoes any significant change is the King, which is probably why the scenes in which he appears become some of the strongest in the book. The general staticness of the other characters’ development makes for some slow reading in parts. However, the general likability of the characters’ personalities compensates enough for that lack to make the story worth continuing, as does Dixon’s attention to random little details that render the world of her story vivid and entrancing.
Interestingly, I enjoyed most of these little details of the story more than I did the main conflict itself. Oh, yes, the princesses dancing sneakily in a magical hidden clearing with creepy-hot magical fantasy guy Keeper was kind of cool and, if the book is ever made into a film, will make for some awesome visuals. When it came down to it, though, I was more interested in the sisters and their lives than I was Keeper and his motives. And though, by the end of the novel, Keeper is meant to be a truly terrifying figure, I wasn’t as terrified by him as I would have liked to be. However, his evilness does manifest in some visually neat ways at the end, and it does allow for pretty much every character in the story to go out with one big BOO-YA!, which we do not see enough of in books (both all characters having a good send-off and actual use of the word “Boo-ya!” Not that “boo-ya” is actually said in the story, because that would be weird and out of place, but it is totally there in spirit).
Since I am a cover geek, I feel an obligation to comment on Entwined’s cover, too. As I mentioned earlier, Entwined has a beautiful cover, with wonderful curly lettering, shiny leaf-shaped silver detailing, and a back-shot of a girl in a pretty but slightly shabby-looking gown—a perfect fit for the story because silver becomes more important than one would expect, and because the princesses in question are not from a particularly rich kingdom (another element that I liked. When was the last time you saw a poor-ish princess?). As beautiful as it is, though, it is still one among many girl-in-a-dress covers that seem to be gracing the YA shelves these days, and because of that, it risks being lost between [insert book of the moment here] and all of its cousins.
Enter the savior that is Heather Dixon’s blog.
I liked Entwined enough to scour the Internet for the author’s blog, and found it at http://story-monster.blogspot.com. Dixon was (and still is) a storyboard artist before she became a published author, and as artist-writers tend to do, she produced some art in keeping with her story. My initial reaction upon finishing the book was a positive one, but after visiting the blog and seeing her art, my reaction rocketed from one that I could coherently describe to “OMG AZALEA AND BRAMBLE LOOK LIKE DISNEY PRINCESSES BUT AWESOMERRRRR!!!1!1!!lsfjsklajf jailf 😀 ”
Exactly that.

I am totally an animated princess fangirl. Even for princesses that no one cares about anymore (Odette and Amalthea, anyone?). And Entwined’s cover, as beautiful as it is, does not exude that “THIS COULD TOTALLY BE A PRINCESS MOVIE BUT BETTER” vibe that Dixon’s art does, which is a shame. Her art isn’t even featured in the book itself, which is a greater shame. I know that the publisher is trying to appeal to the masses who can tolerate generically pretty girl-in-dress covers, as well as the audience that likes fairy tale books but shuns the illustrated ones as too childish. Still, as is, the cover and lack of illustrations are causing it to miss that valuable princess-fangirl audience (Don’t laugh. THERE ARE MORE OF US THAN YOU THINK). I’d like to see an edition of the book designed and illustrated by Dixon herself for this very reason. It would do the story better justice.
In essence, Entwined is unique among fairy tale adaptations in that it’s more interested in its characters than its magic. If you are looking for a subtly-realized book about sisterhood and light romance with a dash of magic thrown in, it’s highly recommended. It’s also recommended if you love Disney princesses and animation in general, because though it does not look it, this book is an animated classic waiting to happen.
***
EXTRAS!
If you’re not a fan of Heather Dixon at this point, you will be after seeing this coloring sheet that she produced:

Also, her Deviant Art page: http://betterthanbunnies.deviantart.com/
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Note: Holo Writing is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and, as such, may earn a small commission from any product purchased through an affiliate link on this blog.

What to Watch When You’ve Finished The Seraphim Revival (or, a Holiday Gift Guide for Mecha Nerds)

November 19, 2017 by hpholo Leave a Comment

The Seraphim Revival may be complete, but if you’re anything like the guy who wrote it, you’ve got a fever and the only prescription is more…giant robots. Well, never fear, ‘cause Dr. Holo’s got you covered.
The titles listed below are movies or anime series that either 1) influenced the writing of the Seraphim Revival trilogy, or 2) were discovered afterward but are still hecka fun for mecha fans.
We enjoyed all these, so we hope you will, too! 😀 (And of course, if you happened upon this page and have no idea what the Seraphim Revival is, we invite you to check it out! The first book in the series, Bane of the Dead, will be only $.99 through 12/30/17, so this is the perfect time!)

Mobile Suit Gundam Wing

You can’t be a mecha fan without also being a Gundam fan. It’s the rules. There will be a lot of Gundam on this list. Jacob’s first foray into the world of Gundam came in the Toonami golden age’s airing of Gundam Wing, and we may have squeed a little too loudly when we realized it was finally getting a collector’s edition Blu-Ray release this year. If that so expensive but UGH SO PRETTY collector’s edition makes your wallet scream, there are some Blu-Ray only options, too: Collection 1, Collection 2, and Endless Waltz. The main series and Endless Waltz are also streaming on CrunchyRoll.

Mobile Suit Gundam Unicorn Re:0096

Gundam Wing may be the most pivotal Gundam for us, but Gundam Unicorn is hands-down our favorite. Set early in the Universal Century arc, it includes a lot of fan service references to classic Gundam, but it’s far from a fan service series*. Its plot is solid, and the animation is the most spectacular any Gundam series has ever seen. The series’ Blu-Ray/DVD release is a little wack, though (2 episodes per disc? What is this? 2001?), so if you don’t want to take the physical media plunge, it’s available for streaming on CrunchyRoll.
*I should specify that the fan service refers to mecha and character appearances, not boobs. If you want boob fanservice there’s, like, three seconds of boob in The 08th MS Team.

Mobile Suit Gundam: Char’s Counterattack

Char’s Counterattack is a Gundam classic – perhaps the Gundam classic – and it got a fantastic Blu-Ray release late last year. It won’t make a whole lot of sense if you’re not familiar with the original Mobile Suit Gundam series (or Unicorn), but it’s still worth it for the awesome mecha/military drama (and if you enjoy watching annoying characters get their just, fiery desserts). >D

Mobile Suit Gundam: The 08th MS Team

The 08th MS Team is unique in Gundam for being a small, down-to-earth story of a quartet of Gundam fighters, rather than an epic, sweeping space opera. The shifted focus from space battles opens up room for characters with very human, relatable problems, and the cast is charming in its authenticity. It’s not a must-watch, but it is a good watch for Gundam fans who are looking for something a little different.

Mobile Fighter G Gundam

Jacob scoffs at this entry, but H.P. loves it, so it stays. G Gundam is, admittedly, the black sheep of the Gundam family in that it is…well, terrible (especially in comparison to masterpieces like Char’s Counterattack and Unicorn).
However, it is also a whole lot of fun, if only because of its plethora of questionable choices that somehow earned the approval of a production committee. It’s like the anime equivalent of Miley Cyrus at the 2014 Grammys. A unified world where the governing country is determined by mecha fights every 4 years? Check. Hilariously stereotyped Gundam designs and pilots? Check. A Gundam so evil it’s called the Devil Gundam? Check. Participating in Gundam fights to find one’s missing brother even though that is probably the most inefficient method of finding someone ever? Check. The main character has a dramatic backstory, so at least it shares that with other Gundam series.
In short, it’s a hot mess, but a hilarious mess, too. For a serious Gundam fan, it’s probably the least watchable of all the Gundam series. But for fans of sprawling mecha train wrecks, it’s a blast. It hasn’t gotten a Blu-Ray release (understandably so), but it is available in two collections on DVD and available for streaming on CrunchyRoll.

Neon Genesis Evangelion

There have been approximately 20,000 versions of Neon Genesis Evangelion, and all are entertaining (if you find entertainment in angsty teens, mecha drama, and relationships so twisted they’d make the Greek gods cringe), so take your pick. Classic series? The End of Evangelion movie? The Death and Rebirth movie? These all had a huge influence on the writing of the Seraphim Revival books.
Our preferred versions, though, are the recent Rebuild of Evangelion movies: 1.11: You Are (Not) Alone, 2.22: You Can (Not) Advance, and 3.33: You Can (Not) Redo. This is primarily because they update the low-budget original series with beautiful animation and mecha battles, and then go off the track (and off the rails) in 3.0: You Can (Not) Redo, diverging from the plot of the original to deliver something new to fans.

Transformers: The Movie

Gundam Wing may have been the pivotal mecha series for Jacob, but Transformers was the gateway drug. Without this masterpiece of toy-inspired filmmaking, the Seraphim Revival series wouldn’t exist. The 1986 movie traumatized and enthralled Tiny Jacob and even today is a regular replay in House Holo.

Robot Jox

Robot Jox holds up better if you watched it as a kid before you had any real taste in movies, or if you just like bad movies. Jacob is the former and H.P. is the latter, which made this movie perfect for us. It’s G Gundam-like in that nations settle their disputes by pitting giant robots against each other, and there is drama! Deception! Hilariously bad stereotypes! But mostly 1980s robots wailing on each other. It’s a fun little watch if you want a laugh involving giant robots.

Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann

Jacob discovered Gurren Lagann too late for it to have any influence on the Seraphim Revival, but it’s H.P.’s favorite anime of all time, the anime recommendation that convinced Jacob she was marriage material, and a list of mecha recommendations would be incomplete without it.
This is a ridiculous show where the robots are powered by fighting spirit and manliness, where they combine and sprout new weapons with even less regard for physics than normal anime, and where the scale of battle becomes so extreme by the end that…you know what? It just has to be seen to be believed. However, beneath all its hyperactive action, there’s a story with an unexpected amount of heart, and by the end, it’ll leave you cheering for humanity. (And these days, how often can you say that about anything?)
If you don’t feel like forking out the insane cash for that (admittedly gorgeous) limited edition Blu-Ray box set, there’s a more wallet-friendly DVD edition. It’s also streaming on CrunchyRoll.

The Vision of Escaflowne

Escaflowne didn’t influence the Seraphim Revival as much as the aforementioned series, but it’s worth mentioning because 1) it’s unique for its fantasy setting (as opposed to a futuristic sci-fi setting), and 2) it just got a wholly unexpected Blu-Ray collector’s edition that is actually pretty slick. Outside a few dated technology references, the anime has aged surprisingly well. (It was 20 years old last year.) The story goes a little weak at the end, but the rest of the series makes up for it with dang cool Guymelef (mecha/armor/whatever) battles, a fascinating world, and, let’s face it, Allen because he’s super hot.
Jacob surprised H.P. with this edition for her birthday, and it’s been one of her favorite watches this year.

Pacific Rim

Pssh. Did you expect us to write a post of mecha recommendations and not include Pacific Rim? 😛
So ends our list of Seraphim Revival watch-alikes! Mecha fans, what would you add?
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Note: Holo Writing is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and, as such, may earn a small commission from any product purchased through an affiliate link on this blog.

Kingsman: The Golden Circle – Movie Review

October 18, 2017 by hpholo Leave a Comment

Kingsman: The Secret Service is so beloved a movie in House Holo that when Kingsman: The Golden Circle was announced, it called for a Mandatory Date Night.

In The Golden Circle, Eggsy’s life as Galahad is good. He’s a new but accomplished agent of the Kingsman, and at the moment his biggest challenge is impressing his girlfriend’s parents. That all changes when a well-timed missile barrage obliterates every Kingsman agent except him and Merlin and every resource at the Kingsman’s disposal, which means they must follow their doomsday protocol: teaming up with the Kingsman’s American cousin, the Statesman, and figuring out what the heck happened.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Nxc-3WpMbg&w=560&h=315]
The Golden Circle had one of the most fun trailers ever, and the movie almost lived up to that. It was ultimately a fun watch, as what it does right, it does very right. However, what it does wrong, it does very wrong, and for this reason, it falls short as a worthy successor to The Secret Service.
First, the good: The first Kingsman movie had some of the best action scenes in the history of spy films, and The Golden Circle keeps that tradition going. While frantic and heavily stylized, the action is easy to follow and over-the-top in the best way.
The opening scene, which sees Eggsy fighting a bionic-armed baddie in (and around) a Kingsman taxi as it’s being chased through the streets of London by cars armed with miniguns watches like this film’s answer to the backwards car chase scene from the first, as if to emphasize Eggsy’s progression as an agent. Now, when it comes to car combat, he can certainly do more than drive fast backward. Likewise, the climactic scene is wonderfully ridiculous, even if it goes a bit long, seeing Eggsy and Harry Hart (yes, the dead one) rampaging through the big bad’s retro-inspired headquarters while robots fight in the background and Elton John literally kicks bad guy butt in a marvelously sparkly feathered suit. Really you should see this movie for that alone. It is wondrous.
Next, the interactions between the core characters are as engaging as they were in the original and even improve upon relationships set up in the first movie. Any boyfriend would have reason to be nervous meeting his girl’s parents, but Eggsy’s girl? She’s Princess Tilde, having stuck with him from that infamous scene. Which means that the parents he’s meeting are the king and queen of Sweden. Talk about pressure. Likewise, Harry Hart’s return is both awesome and bittersweet – awesome because YESSS COLIN FIRTH IS BACK AND HE HAS AN EYEPATCH, bittersweet because being shot in the head does things to a person, even if the bullet only passed through the eye. In this case, it’s resulted in such incredible memory loss that he doesn’t remember being a Kingsman at all, much less the personal value he has to Eggsy and Merlin, and their attempts to get him to remember who he is are heartbreaking to watch. Even after one finally works, he’s not the Harry Hart he used to be; on a basic level, having one eye when he’s used to two throws his perception off, which complicates his combat abilities. On a deeper level, he struggles with phantoms that haunt his mind as a result of his injury, which leads Eggsy and Merlin to question his remaining abilities even if he’s still confident in them. There’s more depth in these characters than most other spy films have led me to expect of the genre.
The same cannot be said for the antagonists, which is where The Golden Circle’s flaws begin.
We learn early on that the titular Golden Circle refers to a drug cartel run by the bubbly but vicious Poppy, an accomplished businesswoman/drug dealer with such a flair for wholesome 1950s nostalgia that her secret lair in the jungle is a heavily-guarded re-creation of the fun parts of a retro town – diner, salon, bowling alley, all the essentials. This could have been a great template for an antagonist; after all, Valentine from the previous movie was similarly over-the-top, with his penchant for global murder despite his charming lisp and aversion to the sight of blood.
Poppy has none of that. When we first meet her, she tests the loyalty of an inductee to her drug ring by having him jam his still-living recruiter into a mincer and then forcing him to eat a burger made from the ground-up meat of the man. Which, admittedly, is wonderfully nuts, but also gives us as viewers nothing to like about her. I hate, hate, hate the trope of bad guys killing off minions to show How Evil They Are, because it makes one wonder how that bad guy manages to find loyal minions at all. Once Poppy states that she prefers robots to humans anyway – and apparently has access to such technology that advanced prosthetics and semi-sentient dogs and salon attendants are no big deal – it becomes clear that the only reason why Poppy even keeps human staff is for the writers to show How Evil She Is. Combine this with her actual plan, and she has no redeeming qualities, which makes her an uninteresting villain.
In her nefarious scheme, she’s poisoned the various drugs she sells with a disease that leads to a quick and miserable death. Her plot? Force the US to legalize the drug trade so that she can run her business legally, and do so by holding all the poisoned victims hostage (because possibly killing all your customers at once is a great business model). If all goes according to plan, the president signs an order legalizing the drugs, she sends the antidote out worldwide.
Except the president doesn’t, which is one of the film’s most obnoxious problems. I have never seen a man without a mustache twirl an evil mustache that hard, but this guy manages. When this president learns of the threat, his public plan is to gather the affected to field hospitals and treat them; his actual plan is to not sign Poppy’s order and just let the affected die, thereby winning the war on drugs in one fell swoop. After all, the users are just worthless druggies, right? As if we needed more emphasis on how despicable he is, the gathered victims are literally put in metal cages and stacked on top of each other. The president isn’t even a character by this point; he’s a caricature, and not a very good one at that. Like, even if a politician wanted to do that sort of thing, how could he even expect to get away with something that obvious? I mean, other possible complications aside, SOMEONE IS GOING TO NOTICE THE THOUSANDS OF CAGES BEING SENT TO FIELD HOSPITALS WITHIN THE SPACE OF A FEW DAYS AND BLOW A WHISTLE IN TWO SECONDS ON TWITTER 😐 😐 😐
*Update: …Um, 2018, when I wrote the above paragraph, I did not mean it as a challenge. 😐 😐 😐
Literally every scene with the president in it watches like an angry college student with minimal writing skills still had some election year steam to blow off and so farted their hot, wet angst all over what should have been one of my favorite movies of the year.
Those are the most egregious flaws, but they’re not the most disappointing ones. That dubious honor goes, regrettably, to the Statesman.
With the Statesman, the writers commit the biggest sin of the movie, taking one of the best and most promising parts of the trailer and criminally under-using it while reducing it to a series of caricatures (There’s a theme emerging here…). The setup for the Statesman is smart; it’s a bigger, better-equipped, bombastic organization ‘cause ‘Murica (also ‘cause sequel. Also ‘cause their cover business is whiskey, which brings in a whole lot more money than tailoring). However, the movie drops the ball almost as soon as the Statesman are introduced…which is by displaying an astonishing lack of knowledge about their role in the Kingsman’s doomsday protocol. Eggsy and Merlin almost end up set on fire by Channing Tatum (er, agent Tequila) before another agent pops in to say “oops, no, I looked in our files, they’re for real. lol sorry :P”
After that the Statesmen characters are introduced as a series of increasingly cowboyish dudes with alcohol-themed code names and so little characterization that they might have been named after whatever the writers were drinking when they created each one. The only exception is Ginger Ale, who is at least likable, but still not incredibly complex outside of a “I want to be a field agent but this one guy keeps voting me down” conflict. And she certainly doesn’t make up for the sin of introducing Channing Tatum’s nice muscles and then, no joke, PUTTING HIM IN CRYO BEFORE HE EVEN GETS TO BE AWESOME. 😐 😐 😐
If that’s not mismanagement of creative resources, I don’t know what is, but unfortunately that’s what a lot of this movie boils down to. Fortunately, that doesn’t stop it from being generally fun to experience. The most perfect example of how the film watches is a reprisal of the famous bar fight scene. The setup is absolutely stupid – a random Statesman antagonizes the Kingsman for literally no reason other than that they look prissy – and the violence that follows is wholly disproportionate to the offense given. Narratively, however, it’s brilliant, referencing Harry’s iconic scene from the first movie to show how his trauma has affected his abilities, and then transforming into a chance to show what an awesome badass new ally agent Whiskey is.
And that’s really what The Golden Circle is: a plethora of brilliant moments strung together by an equal plethora of terrible ones. The brilliant moments make it worth watching, but the others will make fans wonder why we didn’t get a movie that was as smart and tightly-plotted as The Secret Service.
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Valiant Dust – Book Review

October 16, 2017 by hpholo 1 Comment

When David Weber puts a book in your hands and tells you to read it, you do, and so here is my book report on my recent ARC of Valiant Dust by Richard Baker.

In Valiant Dust, Sikander Singh North is an aristocrat-turned-soldier, off to begin his first mission on the Aquilan Commonwealth starship CSS Hector. Sikander himself is not wholly Aquilan; rather, he is from Kashmir, a colonial possession of Aquila that, while economically valuable, does not yet have the technology to construct its own fleet of interstellar warships, and so he serves there to learn how he might better serve his home. As he does so, though, he’s in for a bumpy ride. For CSS Hector has been sent to the planet of Gadira II, where tensions between the ruling sultanate and the rebel caidists have long been mounting on the planet, and where forces that aren’t supposed to be there have suddenly appeared in orbit…
Valiant Dust is easily one of the best pieces of military sci-fi I’ve read this year. Its fast pace and its complex, yet efficiently characterized cast make it a fun read, while its streamlined descriptions of far-future ship tech make it accessible. If you’re a reader who has been wanting to try military sci-fi but has been daunted by the overwhelming techno- and military-babble that is so common in the genre, Valiant Dust presents an excellent starting point.
Those praises (and David’s recommendation) aside, I have to admit that the cultures involved were what grabbed my attention most. Sikander hails from an Indian-descended planet, while Gadira II is Arabic-descended and Islamic-influenced. The ruling powers of Gadira are liberal enough to be okay, if uneasy, about a princess taking an active interest in military affairs, while the citizenry is variably conservative – though not, it should be noted, necessarily terroristic, except where the story’s rebellion is concerned. And even then the rebellion is not religiously-based, but rather rooted in citizen concerns that their rulers are making deals with offworld powers that will benefit the elite, not the common people – or that will eventually benefit the offworlders exclusively, leaving Gadira an exploited, ruined planet. The only actual terrorism in the book takes place in Sikander’s past, where he loses much of his family and innocence in a politically-motivated attack. The circumstances surrounding that tragedy – expressed in well-placed flashbacks throughout the book – give Sikander an emotional tie to the aforementioned Gadiran princess (that is, Amira) Ranya Meriem el-Nasir, who lost her parents in a similar manner. (Ranya herself is one of the most engaging characters in the novel. Though a small romance blooms between her and Sikander, it takes a backseat to her whip-smart attention to political details and her consequent involvement in the uprisings that eventually take place. She became one of my favorite characters as soon as she appeared in the book.)
I don’t know enough about the intricacies of Indian or Arabic cultures to comment upon how accurate the depictions are – and really, given that the novel is set so far in the future (implying plenty of time for cultural change) the point is moot. However, given that the vast majority of sci-fi and fantasy involves Western-inspired cultures, the fact that this novel puts non-Western cultures front and center in a respectful, detailed, effortless, timeless way makes it an instant gem. I mention the last detail in particular because while this is a novel made up of currently-contentious puzzle pieces – namely complexities surrounding Islam and capitalist/imperialist exploitation – those pieces are handled in such a way that readers will be able to pick up this book 50+ years from now and still be able to find some meaning in it. It doesn’t try to provide obvious commentary on any of its components, which in turn makes it one of the more accidentally-engaging political reads I’ve ever read.
All that said, though, this book isn’t trying to be an Important Political Book. What it’s trying to be is a hecka fun military sci-fi action book that just happens to have political complexities at its center. The food for thought is there if you look for it, but it’s still a great read even if all you want out of it is explosions.
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Note: Holo Writing is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and, as such, may earn a small commission from any product purchased through an affiliate link on this blog.