Holo Writing

Authors Jacob & H.P. Holo

Recipes on Top

Recipes on Top: Perfect Donkey Sauce Grilled Cheese

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Someone at MarsCon said they missed my grilled cheese posts, and I do hate to disappoint my fans. 🤣

This month’s grilled cheese is my go-to recipe, perfected through much Science and Experimentation and LOADS of calories. Enjoy! 🥪🧀

Ingredients:

  • 2 slices Sara Lee Hawaiian bread
  • 2 tbsp Tillamook butter, softened
  • 2 slices mozzarella cheese (I used Publix ’cause it was on sale.)
  • 1 slice provolone cheese (I used Sargento ’cause I don’t like Publix’s provolone, even when it is on sale)
  • as much Donkey Sauce (or garlic aioli) as your heart desires

Instructions:

  • Preheat a frying pan to medium-high heat.
  • Let pan cool to medium-low heat. Plop 1/2 of the butter in to melt.
  • Use the remaining butter to butter both pieces of bread.
  • Plop one piece of bread in the pan butter-side-down. Squirt the desired amount of Donkey Sauce on it, then layer one slice of mozzarella, one slice of provolone, and the other slice of mozzarella atop the bread. Squire more Donkey Sauce on it, if desired. Place the other piece of bread on top, butter-side-up.
  • Let sandwich cook slowly until it reaches desired toastiness and meltiness. (Don’t cook it too fast/hot or the toastiness-to-meltiness ratio will be off.)
  • Plate finished sandwich and drizzle Donkey Sauce over the top for extra fanciness.

Babble: 

I impulse-bought Guy Fieri’s Flavortown Donkey Sauce solely ‘cause it’s called Donkey Sauce, and put it on everything for like a week, including this sandwich. (It’s basically a garlic aioli, which already puts it in HELL YEAH territory.)

The Hawaiian bread wasn’t working out for a lot of my previous experiments (It made everything too rich), but this one? HOOOOOOOOO BOY. The provolone and mozzarella that I used are both subtle enough that Hawaiian bread complemented them well. Add the Donkey Sauce for extra pizzazz, and this one became chef’s kiss.

*I only used a little bit for the photo to make it look vaguely bougie, but then dumped it on afterward.

Recipes on Top: Sauteed Dill Pickle Grilled Cheese

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Ingredients:

  • 2 slices Sara Lee Golden Wheat Bread
  • 2 tbsp Kerrygold butter, softened
  • 2 slices Cheddar Cheese (I used Publix brand ‘cause it was on sale)
  • As many dill pickle chips as your heart desires

Instructions:

  1. Preheat a frying pan to medium-high heat. Saute dill pickles to desired texture.
  2. Let pan cool to medium-low heat. Plop 1/2 of the butter in to melt.
  3. Use the remaining butter to butter both pieces of bread.
  4. Plop one piece of bread in the pan butter-side-down, then layer one slice of cheese, half the pickles, and the other slice of cheese atop the bread. Place the other piece of bread on top, butter-side-up.
  5. Let sandwich cook slowly until it reaches desired toastiness and meltiness. (Don’t cook it too fast/hot or the toastiness-to-meltiness ratio will be off.)
  6. Plate finished sandwich and put remaining pickles on top for extra fanciness.

Babble:

Sometimes I put random stuff on grilled cheeses just to see what happens.

I also post photos of these concoctions on Facebook because I’m a Millennial and you can’t be a Millennial without posting pictures of your food, it’s the rules.

Anyway, I became mildly Facebook famous for my grilled cheese posts, to the point where people text Jacob asking when the next grilled cheese post is going to happen, so I figured I should share them here, too.

This concoction happened because Jacob will eat just about anything with dill pickles on it, and there were just a few pickles left in our latest jar, so I figured I’d see how they went in a grilled cheese.

They go awesomely with cheddar cheese, it turns out, so now this sandwich is a regular on Grilled Cheese Night.

Recipes on Top: H.P.’s Perfect Keto Grilled Cheese

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Ingredients:

Instructions:

  1. Preheat a frying pan on medium-low heat. Plop 1/3 of the butter in to melt.
  2. Use the remaining butter to butter both pieces of bread.
  3. Plop one piece of bread in the pan butter-side-down, then sandwich the cheddar cheese between the mozzarella and put it on the bread to melt. Place the other piece of bread on top, butter-side-up.
  4. Let sandwich cook slowly until it reaches desired toastiness and meltiness. (Don’t cook it too fast/hot or the toastiness-to-meltiness ratio will be off.)

Babble:

Of all the random diets I’ve tried, Keto is my favorite because once my body adjusts to the kind of nutrients it’s taking in, it feels healthier and more energetic than it does on any other diet. Plus, you can eat, like, a ton of cheese on it, and I was pretty much made of coffee and cheese even before I started Keto.😋

However, while the body may generally feel great, sometimes the soul just wants a grilled cheese. 🍞🧀

And frankly most Keto breads I’ve tried don’t taste like bread so much as sadness and despair manifested in a tasteless, disturbingly-textured physical form. 🤢 I don’t like to waste food, so I can generally power my way through most foods I’m indifferent to, but the vast majority of Keto breads that I’ve tried end up flung straight in the trash with the kind of force most people reserve for books with bad endings.

Which was why, when a fateful conversation at my local comic shop told me about Sola Bread – a Keto bread that tastes like actual bread – I leapt at the chance to try it.

And Y’ALL.

Y’ALLLLL.

It’s amazing. It tastes more than edible. It really does taste like actual bread, and it has revolutionized my grilled cheese life. 😮 I eat one of these sandwiches every other day, which is a whole lot more grilled cheese than I expected to eat when I started Keto.

My favorite flavor of Sola Bread is Sweet and Buttery, but Sweet Oat is a close second, and there are a wide variety of others available on the brand’s website. (I link to Amazon elsewhere because, TBH, I have affiliate links and get paid every time someone buys stuff through them, but I generally find this bread in the freezer section of my local Publix.)

Obviously, you can make whatever kind of grilled cheese you want on this stuff – all grilled cheeses are equal and blessed – but I prefer to use mozzarella cheese for maximum stretchiness and sharp cheddar for a little tang. I also prefer Kerrygold butter because I don’t use that much butter in my day-to-day cooking, so when I do use it, I’m going to use The Good Stuff.

Recipes on Top: Jacob’s PERFECT Carrot Bacon Wrap (and H.P.s PERFECT Carrot BLT)

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https://www.instagram.com/p/CB1i-aZptR2/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
https://www.instagram.com/p/CB1jk0pJ-dn/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Ingredients:

  • 2 large carrots, horizontally peeled into slices
  • 3 tbsp maple syrup
  • 1/2 tbsp liquid smoke
  • 1/2 tbsp paprika
  • 1/2 tbsp onion powder
  • 1/2 tbsp black pepper

For Wrap:

  • 2 sun dried tomato wraps
  • desired toppings: lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle, avocado, plain Greek yogurt

For BLT:

  • 4 slices of Sara Lee Artesano Bakery Bread, toasted
  • toppings: lettuce, tomato, Duke’s Mayonnaise

Instructions:

  1. Mix maple syrup, liquid smoke, paprika, onion powder, and black pepper in a medium bowl.
  2. Add carrot slices and let marinate for 2-5 minutes.
  3. Spread seasoned carrots as thinly as possible in bottom of an air fryer, and cook at 380 degrees for 8 minutes.
  4. While carrots are cooking, assemble your toppings on the sun dried tomato wraps (or bread).
  5. When finished, divide carrots between each wrap (or sandwich) and enjoy!

Babble:

First, credit where credit is due here: This recipe is heavily based upon Tabitha Brown’s carrot bacon video – and if you haven’t experienced Tabitha Brown yet, you are missing a true blessing of the Internet. Her voice is so relaxing I’ve adopted her as Internet mom, and any time I’m feeling down, her food videos are a sure spirit-lifter. 😊

Plus, now that Jacob’s seen this video, he narrates all the cooking that happens in our house with “‘Cause that’s my/your business,” which is adorable. 😂

Anyway, the main differences between her recipe and mine are that 1) mine includes ingredient proportions, 2) House Holo isn’t fancy enough for microgreens, 3) it uses spices that were already hanging around my pantry, and 4) my preferred seasoning mix is a lot thicker than the one pictured in the video. This is because, back when Jacob could eat Real Bacon, he liked it crispy and just shy of burnt. After some experimentation, I found that the best way to emulate that texture was a higher seasoning-to-carrot ratio. If you don’t like crispy bacon, I recommend leaving the liquid proportions as they are and playing with the seasoning proportions until you find your desired taste and texture.

Some notes:

A little liquid smoke goes a lonnnnng way. You’ll be tempted to just dump the whole bottle in because that divine smell tricks your heart into thinking it will never be able to eat enough. Your taste buds, however, will thank you for your restraint. (My first several carrot bacon experiments were almost inedible because I was overzealous with the liquid smoke. 😳)

I use plain Greek yogurt in place of mayo on Jacob’s wraps because it’s low-cholesterol, and in most recipes that involve complex flavors, we can’t tell the difference anyway. My diet, however, allows me the decadent pleasures of Duke’s Mayonnaise, so I treat myself as the Southern mayonnaise gods intended. 😋

Also, obviously you can use whatever bread you want for BLTs, but if, like me, you’re on a limited-bread diet, I like to splurge on breads when I do eat them, and Artesano bread might be the most delicious impulse buy I’ve ever made.

Recipes on Top – THE BEST Vegetable Soup

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https://www.instagram.com/p/B-lA1blJD9I/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Ingredients:

Instructions:

  1. Put all ingredients in a large soup pot.
  2. Heat to boiling, then cover and simmer for 1.5 hours.
  3. Raise temperature to medium-high and cook for 20 minutes or until vegetables reach desired softness.

Babble:
I literally just threw this together to get rid of some leftovers, but then Jacob started raving about how it’s the best vegetable soup I’ve ever made, so I naturally had to record it for posterity.
Some notes:
If you don’t have access to a Spice and Tea Exchange, you can order the spices online or follow the links above to see what comprises each spice, so you can choose which components you’d like to substitute. If you like to cook, though, I highly recommend their spice blends. A few tablespoons of the Tuscany blend in particular can make even the most mundane tomato dish AMAZING. 
The vegetable stock I used was homemade using the greens of leeks, an onion, garlic, mushrooms, and carrots. It hasn’t been perfected yet, but I’ll post a recipe once I have a version that I like. ‘Til then, I used this one as a guide. 
Also, Jacob adds Worcestershire sauce to his because he adds some sort of sauce to EVERYTHING.

Recipes on Top – Fat Tire Soup (or, Sublime Beer Cheese Soup Mark III – Low Fat, Low Cholesterol)

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https://www.instagram.com/p/B0l0poWBMi-/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Ingredients:

  • 1 medium red onion cut into ¼ in pieces
  • 1 package celery, chopped into chunks
  • 1 package carrots, chopped into chunks
  • 1 24 oz. package baby fingerling potatoes or honey gold potatoes, cut in half
  • 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
  • 1 cup skim milk
  • 4 cups vegetable stock
  • 3 dashes Tabasco sauce
  • ½ tsp Worcestershire sauce
  • 1 bottle of Fat Tire Amber Ale
  • Salt and pepper to taste
  • Bread of choice

Instructions:

  1. Pour half the Fat Tire into a large soup pot.
  2. Add onions, celery, and carrots, and cook until the onion is tender.
  3. Sprinkle in flour and stir constantly for 2 minutes. Stir in milk and stock, a little at a time, blending well to ensure there are no lumps. Add potatoes, then bring to a boil, cover, and simmer for 15 minutes.
  4. Remove from heat and whisk in Tabasco, Worcestershire sauce, and the rest of the beer. 
  5. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
  6. Serve with your favorite bread. (I like sourdough with this one.)

Babble:
The previous version of this soup had been just about perfect for us…but then concerns about Jacob’s heart health required that we shift to a low-fat, low-cholesterol diet, which meant we had to cut everything that made Marks I and II fun – namely, the bacon and cheese.  😫 However, I like a culinary challenge and so took it upon myself to create a variation that fit within his diet but still tasted yummy.
Luckily for us, one of our friends left a bottle of Fat Tire at our house – and food that is left at our house automatically becomes fodder for my cooking experiments. (Which is not a bad thing because then my friends get to taste the results!) 😋
While Canadian beers worked for the previous versions, we found that Fat Tire has a unique and distinct flavor that more than made up for the flavor lost with the removal of the fatty ingredients. Fingerling potatoes in particular also have a nice, rich flavor that similarly compensates for the loss of fat, though I found that the gold potatoes taste better in this recipe than the variety packs (which include purple potatoes). Honey gold potatoes are also a good substitute when fingerling potatoes aren’t available.
Also, as you can see in the pic, there’s no limit to the veggie ingredients you can include, and this soup – like many vegetable soups – is a perfect clean-out-the-veggie-drawer soup. 😀 Thus, mushrooms and cauliflower. I usually add these extra veggies in Step 3 (with the potatoes).

Recipes on Top – Sublime Beer Cheese Soup (Mark II – Veggie Bomb)

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https://www.instagram.com/p/B6B5KKEBhrC/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Ingredients:

  • 1 lb smoked bacon, finely chopped
  • 1 medium red onion cut into ¼ in pieces
  • 1 package celery, chopped into chunks
  • 1 package carrots, chopped into chunks
  • 3 tablespoons all purpose flour
  • 1 cup skim milk
  • 4 cups chicken stock
  • 4 oz grated white cheddar
  • 3 dashes Tabasco sauce
  • ½ tsp Worcestershire sauce
  • ½ cup beer (preferably a dark Canadian), room temperature
  • Salt and pepper to taste
  • Bread of choice

Instructions:

  1. Cook the bacon in a large soup pot over medium heat until lightly browned.
  2. Add onions, celery, and carrots, and cook until the onion is tender.
  3. Sprinkle in flour and stir constantly for 2 minutes. Stir in milk and stock, a little at a time, blending well to ensure there are no lumps. Bring to a boil, then cover and simmer for 15 minutes.
  4. Remove from heat and whisk in cheese, Tabasco, Worcestershire sauce, and beer. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
  5. Serve with your favorite bread. (I usually like French or Italian bread.)

Babble:
This variation of the Mark I came about because every time I made the Mark I, we basically ended up eating a whole block of cheese in one sitting – and while our taste buds very much enjoyed that, our guts did not. Also, when I cook, I generally like to use complete packages of whatever I ingredients buy just so I don’t have to store them (i.e. forget about them and find them moldy and mutating in the back of the fridge months later). 
Thus, to make a less overwhelming soup, I significantly cut the amount of cheese involved and then restored the soup’s heft with added bacon and vegetables. It’s far from a healthy soup – after all, we went from eating a whole block of cheese in one sitting to a whole pack of bacon in one sitting – but it’s certainly yummy as heck.

Recipes on Top – Sublime Beer Cheese Soup (Mark I – Cheese Bomb)

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https://www.instagram.com/p/B55T9zCHDz2/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Ingredients: 

  • ¼ lb smoked bacon, finely chopped
  • 1 medium red onion cut into ¼ in pieces
  • ½ cup finely sliced celery
  • ½ cup finely chopped carrots
  • 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
  • 3 cups whole milk
  • 2 cups chicken stock
  • 12 oz grated white cheddar
  • 3 dashes Tabasco sauce
  • ½ tsp Worcestershire sauce
  • ½ cup beer (preferably a dark Canadian), room temperature
  • Salt and pepper to taste
  • 1 tablespoon thinly sliced chives for garnish
  • bread of choice

Instructions:

  1. Cook the bacon in a large heavy-bottomed, non-reactive soup pot (cast iron Dutch oven works better) over medium heat until lightly browned.
  2. Add onions, celery, and carrots, and cook until the onion is tender.
  3. Sprinkle in flour and stir constantly for 2 minutes. Stir in milk and stock, a little at a time, blending well to ensure there are no lumps. Bring to a boil, then cover and simmer for 15 minutes.
  4. Remove from heat and whisk in cheese, Tabasco, Worcestershire sauce, and beer. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
  5. Serve with your favorite bread (Try a French baguette) and top with chopped chives.

Babble:
If you follow me on Instagram, you know I love to cook. You know I also HATE SCROLLING DOWN THROUGH A MILLION ADS AND LIFE STORIES JUST TO GET TO THE GOTDANG RECIPE. 😤😤😤 Pro Tip If You’re Writing For Hungry People: NOBODY cares about your life when there’s the potential of food in the near future. Just sayin’.
That said, welcome to our newest blog feature, Recipes on Top, wherein I share my favorite recipes – at the top of the post, ‘cause ain’t nobody got time for the alternative. 😋
However, if you would like something to read in those small minutes when you’re waiting for your food to finish, I’ll include some thoughts on the recipe below the content itself. Sometimes it’ll be a cute story, sometimes a look into the process of developing the recipe – but always, it’ll come after the good stuff. ☺️
Now, for this first recipe, I have to give credit where credit is due: 
This one actually belongs to Jacob’s best friend, Joe, who gave it to us as part of a wedding gift – a cookbook composed of handy recipes hand-chosen by the man himself. By day Joe is a music teacher, but by night he’s the foodiest of foodies and much of the cookbook is the result of years of love and experimentation.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B58GOZPh0SF/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
This particular recipe is one he based on the Canadian Cheddar Cheese Soup he tried at Le Cellier Restaurant in Epcot at Disney World.
We pondered trying the original when we went to Le Cellier several years ago, but then reasoned that this version was so yummy, nothing could possibly be better (so we gorged ourselves on poutine instead. And then got sick from Too Much Poutine. But it was worth it). 🥰