Holo Writing

Authors Jacob & H.P. Holo

Grilled Cheese

Recipes on Top: Perfect Donkey Sauce Grilled Cheese

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Someone at MarsCon said they missed my grilled cheese posts, and I do hate to disappoint my fans. 🤣

This month’s grilled cheese is my go-to recipe, perfected through much Science and Experimentation and LOADS of calories. Enjoy! 🥪🧀

Ingredients:

  • 2 slices Sara Lee Hawaiian bread
  • 2 tbsp Tillamook butter, softened
  • 2 slices mozzarella cheese (I used Publix ’cause it was on sale.)
  • 1 slice provolone cheese (I used Sargento ’cause I don’t like Publix’s provolone, even when it is on sale)
  • as much Donkey Sauce (or garlic aioli) as your heart desires

Instructions:

  • Preheat a frying pan to medium-high heat.
  • Let pan cool to medium-low heat. Plop 1/2 of the butter in to melt.
  • Use the remaining butter to butter both pieces of bread.
  • Plop one piece of bread in the pan butter-side-down. Squirt the desired amount of Donkey Sauce on it, then layer one slice of mozzarella, one slice of provolone, and the other slice of mozzarella atop the bread. Squire more Donkey Sauce on it, if desired. Place the other piece of bread on top, butter-side-up.
  • Let sandwich cook slowly until it reaches desired toastiness and meltiness. (Don’t cook it too fast/hot or the toastiness-to-meltiness ratio will be off.)
  • Plate finished sandwich and drizzle Donkey Sauce over the top for extra fanciness.

Babble: 

I impulse-bought Guy Fieri’s Flavortown Donkey Sauce solely ‘cause it’s called Donkey Sauce, and put it on everything for like a week, including this sandwich. (It’s basically a garlic aioli, which already puts it in HELL YEAH territory.)

The Hawaiian bread wasn’t working out for a lot of my previous experiments (It made everything too rich), but this one? HOOOOOOOOO BOY. The provolone and mozzarella that I used are both subtle enough that Hawaiian bread complemented them well. Add the Donkey Sauce for extra pizzazz, and this one became chef’s kiss.

*I only used a little bit for the photo to make it look vaguely bougie, but then dumped it on afterward.

Recipes on Top: Sauteed Dill Pickle Grilled Cheese

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Ingredients:

  • 2 slices Sara Lee Golden Wheat Bread
  • 2 tbsp Kerrygold butter, softened
  • 2 slices Cheddar Cheese (I used Publix brand ‘cause it was on sale)
  • As many dill pickle chips as your heart desires

Instructions:

  1. Preheat a frying pan to medium-high heat. Saute dill pickles to desired texture.
  2. Let pan cool to medium-low heat. Plop 1/2 of the butter in to melt.
  3. Use the remaining butter to butter both pieces of bread.
  4. Plop one piece of bread in the pan butter-side-down, then layer one slice of cheese, half the pickles, and the other slice of cheese atop the bread. Place the other piece of bread on top, butter-side-up.
  5. Let sandwich cook slowly until it reaches desired toastiness and meltiness. (Don’t cook it too fast/hot or the toastiness-to-meltiness ratio will be off.)
  6. Plate finished sandwich and put remaining pickles on top for extra fanciness.

Babble:

Sometimes I put random stuff on grilled cheeses just to see what happens.

I also post photos of these concoctions on Facebook because I’m a Millennial and you can’t be a Millennial without posting pictures of your food, it’s the rules.

Anyway, I became mildly Facebook famous for my grilled cheese posts, to the point where people text Jacob asking when the next grilled cheese post is going to happen, so I figured I should share them here, too.

This concoction happened because Jacob will eat just about anything with dill pickles on it, and there were just a few pickles left in our latest jar, so I figured I’d see how they went in a grilled cheese.

They go awesomely with cheddar cheese, it turns out, so now this sandwich is a regular on Grilled Cheese Night.

Recipes on Top: H.P.’s Perfect Keto Grilled Cheese

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Ingredients:

Instructions:

  1. Preheat a frying pan on medium-low heat. Plop 1/3 of the butter in to melt.
  2. Use the remaining butter to butter both pieces of bread.
  3. Plop one piece of bread in the pan butter-side-down, then sandwich the cheddar cheese between the mozzarella and put it on the bread to melt. Place the other piece of bread on top, butter-side-up.
  4. Let sandwich cook slowly until it reaches desired toastiness and meltiness. (Don’t cook it too fast/hot or the toastiness-to-meltiness ratio will be off.)

Babble:

Of all the random diets I’ve tried, Keto is my favorite because once my body adjusts to the kind of nutrients it’s taking in, it feels healthier and more energetic than it does on any other diet. Plus, you can eat, like, a ton of cheese on it, and I was pretty much made of coffee and cheese even before I started Keto.😋

However, while the body may generally feel great, sometimes the soul just wants a grilled cheese. 🍞🧀

And frankly most Keto breads I’ve tried don’t taste like bread so much as sadness and despair manifested in a tasteless, disturbingly-textured physical form. 🤢 I don’t like to waste food, so I can generally power my way through most foods I’m indifferent to, but the vast majority of Keto breads that I’ve tried end up flung straight in the trash with the kind of force most people reserve for books with bad endings.

Which was why, when a fateful conversation at my local comic shop told me about Sola Bread – a Keto bread that tastes like actual bread – I leapt at the chance to try it.

And Y’ALL.

Y’ALLLLL.

It’s amazing. It tastes more than edible. It really does taste like actual bread, and it has revolutionized my grilled cheese life. 😮 I eat one of these sandwiches every other day, which is a whole lot more grilled cheese than I expected to eat when I started Keto.

My favorite flavor of Sola Bread is Sweet and Buttery, but Sweet Oat is a close second, and there are a wide variety of others available on the brand’s website. (I link to Amazon elsewhere because, TBH, I have affiliate links and get paid every time someone buys stuff through them, but I generally find this bread in the freezer section of my local Publix.)

Obviously, you can make whatever kind of grilled cheese you want on this stuff – all grilled cheeses are equal and blessed – but I prefer to use mozzarella cheese for maximum stretchiness and sharp cheddar for a little tang. I also prefer Kerrygold butter because I don’t use that much butter in my day-to-day cooking, so when I do use it, I’m going to use The Good Stuff.