Rauch and Frank are two down-on-their-luck roommates who just want better lives – Rauch for the two of them, Frank for other people. It’s why, when Frank isn’t working at the local comic shop, he prowls the streets as the costumed hero Lambda Man, using homemade tools to do whatever small good he can around his rough Philadelphia neighborhood, whether chasing purse snatchers or driving pimps out of town. It’s why Rauch runs small errands for the mob, using those desperate acts to pull himself out of an even more desperate situation – but when he accidentally bungles a hit, he finds himself desperate to escape that world, too.
Both get their chance when a mysterious woman named Keira shows up with an offer: Join Heroes2B, Inc. Train to become a real hero. Complete one job at Las Vegas Comic Con. After that, they’ll have all they need to get out. The offer may not be what it seems – Rauch suspects it, even if Frank doesn’t – but it’s their one good chance to disappear, and neither wants to let it pass.
J.L. Delozier’s Con Me Once combines the fun of Marvel with the darkness of DC and the mafia drama of Scorsese. It’s a strange, unexpected combination (especially in light of Scorsese’s recent comments), but Delozier pulls it off in a similarly unexpected manner.
First, one should know going in that it’s not a comic book story so much as a colorful drama set in the trappings of several different cons, comic and otherwise. Keira, we learn, has the financial resources to support a truly awesome training ground for her heroes, complete with her own tech guru and local convention celebrity, Pinball – a Samuel L. Jackson lookalike whose inventions are as wildly inspired as the comics that did inspire them. Keira’s other recruits are similarly colorful. Ruletka, the unofficial leader of the group, is as serious a hero as the Russian Roulette from which his name derives, but is also really into baking and general hospitality, and the final member, Deliverance, is a hyperactive gunslinger on a mission from God who looks like a combination of Howdy Doody and Chucky.
Despite the motley setup, lighthearted comedy this is not. Comic trappings aside, the novel takes an unexpectedly down-to-earth approach to the heroism, motivations, and psychology of its heroes-to-be and the woman who assembles them. One of Frank’s formative traumas, for example, gave him a perpetual terror of movie theaters that borders on PTSD – which becomes a problem when a spontaneous movie theater crisis requires his heroism. For Ruletka, costumed heroism is a way to overcome the darkness of his past, but in the specific case of Heroes2B – and its incentives – it’s also a way for him to complete his physical transition to male. Frank is gay and Rauch is bi, but in addition to the typical stresses of working for the mafia, Rauch in particular has to put up with harassment about his sexuality from the soldiers above him – this in addition to worrying about Frank, who is not as cautious as Rauch himself, and is so eager to join up with Keira and do some good through Heroes2B that he doesn’t even consider the possibility that the opportunity might not be what he thinks it is. Then there’s Deliverance, who might actually be insane, though as yet untreated, and when one considers that Keira is a psychologist pitching Heroes2B as a study for her doctoral degree – and thus, you know, someone who should be concerned about that – suddenly her offer looks a lot less like the stuff of comic con….and much more the stuff of an actual con.
It’s still more comic book action than psychological thriller, though. The book starts with a wrenching murder and, though it takes short breaks to set up its vivid characters and setting, its momentum carries right through to a blockbuster ending that wouldn’t be out of place in any comic shop offerings. Even so, it’s more likely to be enjoyed by thriller fans who like comics, as opposed to comics fans in general. The novel name-drops a lot of fan-favorite references, and comic culture is central to the novel’s characters and conflicts, but it’s not a novel about comics culture, which means that if you go in expecting a love letter to comic cons, you’re going to be disappointed. (Even the climactic comic con is only a small part of the climax.)
References aside, the book’s true comic book spirit is found in its fast pacing, colorful characters and scenarios, and high action. That it was able to fit all this into a mostly believable situation and balance it with realistic drama makes it that much more entertaining.
If I were to fault it for anything, it would be that it doesn’t lean hard enough into its psychological aspects. Granted, the book wasn’t meant to be a hard-hitting psychoanalysis of its characters, but the story sets up the potential for truly intriguing backstories and then only goes into a few of them. I would have particularly liked to see what shaped Ruletka and Deliverance into the people they became before the story started – but then again, this was Frank and Rauch’s story, not theirs. And when it comes down to it, Keira’s own psychology background is just a door she opens to reach a different, completely unrelated goal. My only other complaint is that the actual conclusion comes so quickly relative to the action-packed climax that reading it feels like whiplash, and because of that speed, certain elements of the end (avoiding spoilers) don’t really have time to settle in.
Overall, though, Con Me Once is a fun, fast-paced, and unexpected blend of comic book mayhem and criminal drama.
***
Note: Holo Writing is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and, as such, may earn a small commission from any product purchased through an affiliate link on this blog.
Also Note: I received an ARC copy from the author in exchange for an honest review.
Recipes on Top – Fat Tire Soup (or, Sublime Beer Cheese Soup Mark III – Low Fat, Low Cholesterol)
https://www.instagram.com/p/B0l0poWBMi-/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Ingredients:
- 1 medium red onion cut into ¼ in pieces
- 1 package celery, chopped into chunks
- 1 package carrots, chopped into chunks
- 1 24 oz. package baby fingerling potatoes or honey gold potatoes, cut in half
- 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
- 1 cup skim milk
- 4 cups vegetable stock
- 3 dashes Tabasco sauce
- ½ tsp Worcestershire sauce
- 1 bottle of Fat Tire Amber Ale
- Salt and pepper to taste
- Bread of choice
Instructions:
- Pour half the Fat Tire into a large soup pot.
- Add onions, celery, and carrots, and cook until the onion is tender.
- Sprinkle in flour and stir constantly for 2 minutes. Stir in milk and stock, a little at a time, blending well to ensure there are no lumps. Add potatoes, then bring to a boil, cover, and simmer for 15 minutes.
- Remove from heat and whisk in Tabasco, Worcestershire sauce, and the rest of the beer.
- Season with salt and pepper to taste.
- Serve with your favorite bread. (I like sourdough with this one.)
Babble:
The previous version of this soup had been just about perfect for us…but then concerns about Jacob’s heart health required that we shift to a low-fat, low-cholesterol diet, which meant we had to cut everything that made Marks I and II fun – namely, the bacon and cheese. 😫 However, I like a culinary challenge and so took it upon myself to create a variation that fit within his diet but still tasted yummy.
Luckily for us, one of our friends left a bottle of Fat Tire at our house – and food that is left at our house automatically becomes fodder for my cooking experiments. (Which is not a bad thing because then my friends get to taste the results!) 😋
While Canadian beers worked for the previous versions, we found that Fat Tire has a unique and distinct flavor that more than made up for the flavor lost with the removal of the fatty ingredients. Fingerling potatoes in particular also have a nice, rich flavor that similarly compensates for the loss of fat, though I found that the gold potatoes taste better in this recipe than the variety packs (which include purple potatoes). Honey gold potatoes are also a good substitute when fingerling potatoes aren’t available.
Also, as you can see in the pic, there’s no limit to the veggie ingredients you can include, and this soup – like many vegetable soups – is a perfect clean-out-the-veggie-drawer soup. 😀 Thus, mushrooms and cauliflower. I usually add these extra veggies in Step 3 (with the potatoes).
Recipes on Top – Sublime Beer Cheese Soup (Mark II – Veggie Bomb)
https://www.instagram.com/p/B6B5KKEBhrC/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Ingredients:
- 1 lb smoked bacon, finely chopped
- 1 medium red onion cut into ¼ in pieces
- 1 package celery, chopped into chunks
- 1 package carrots, chopped into chunks
- 3 tablespoons all purpose flour
- 1 cup skim milk
- 4 cups chicken stock
- 4 oz grated white cheddar
- 3 dashes Tabasco sauce
- ½ tsp Worcestershire sauce
- ½ cup beer (preferably a dark Canadian), room temperature
- Salt and pepper to taste
- Bread of choice
Instructions:
- Cook the bacon in a large soup pot over medium heat until lightly browned.
- Add onions, celery, and carrots, and cook until the onion is tender.
- Sprinkle in flour and stir constantly for 2 minutes. Stir in milk and stock, a little at a time, blending well to ensure there are no lumps. Bring to a boil, then cover and simmer for 15 minutes.
- Remove from heat and whisk in cheese, Tabasco, Worcestershire sauce, and beer. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
- Serve with your favorite bread. (I usually like French or Italian bread.)
Babble:
This variation of the Mark I came about because every time I made the Mark I, we basically ended up eating a whole block of cheese in one sitting – and while our taste buds very much enjoyed that, our guts did not. Also, when I cook, I generally like to use complete packages of whatever I ingredients buy just so I don’t have to store them (i.e. forget about them and find them moldy and mutating in the back of the fridge months later).
Thus, to make a less overwhelming soup, I significantly cut the amount of cheese involved and then restored the soup’s heft with added bacon and vegetables. It’s far from a healthy soup – after all, we went from eating a whole block of cheese in one sitting to a whole pack of bacon in one sitting – but it’s certainly yummy as heck.
Recipes on Top – Sublime Beer Cheese Soup (Mark I – Cheese Bomb)
https://www.instagram.com/p/B55T9zCHDz2/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Ingredients:
- ¼ lb smoked bacon, finely chopped
- 1 medium red onion cut into ¼ in pieces
- ½ cup finely sliced celery
- ½ cup finely chopped carrots
- 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
- 3 cups whole milk
- 2 cups chicken stock
- 12 oz grated white cheddar
- 3 dashes Tabasco sauce
- ½ tsp Worcestershire sauce
- ½ cup beer (preferably a dark Canadian), room temperature
- Salt and pepper to taste
- 1 tablespoon thinly sliced chives for garnish
- bread of choice
Instructions:
- Cook the bacon in a large heavy-bottomed, non-reactive soup pot (cast iron Dutch oven works better) over medium heat until lightly browned.
- Add onions, celery, and carrots, and cook until the onion is tender.
- Sprinkle in flour and stir constantly for 2 minutes. Stir in milk and stock, a little at a time, blending well to ensure there are no lumps. Bring to a boil, then cover and simmer for 15 minutes.
- Remove from heat and whisk in cheese, Tabasco, Worcestershire sauce, and beer. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
- Serve with your favorite bread (Try a French baguette) and top with chopped chives.
Babble:
If you follow me on Instagram, you know I love to cook. You know I also HATE SCROLLING DOWN THROUGH A MILLION ADS AND LIFE STORIES JUST TO GET TO THE GOTDANG RECIPE. 😤😤😤 Pro Tip If You’re Writing For Hungry People: NOBODY cares about your life when there’s the potential of food in the near future. Just sayin’.
That said, welcome to our newest blog feature, Recipes on Top, wherein I share my favorite recipes – at the top of the post, ‘cause ain’t nobody got time for the alternative. 😋
However, if you would like something to read in those small minutes when you’re waiting for your food to finish, I’ll include some thoughts on the recipe below the content itself. Sometimes it’ll be a cute story, sometimes a look into the process of developing the recipe – but always, it’ll come after the good stuff. ☺️
Now, for this first recipe, I have to give credit where credit is due:
This one actually belongs to Jacob’s best friend, Joe, who gave it to us as part of a wedding gift – a cookbook composed of handy recipes hand-chosen by the man himself. By day Joe is a music teacher, but by night he’s the foodiest of foodies and much of the cookbook is the result of years of love and experimentation.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B58GOZPh0SF/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
This particular recipe is one he based on the Canadian Cheddar Cheese Soup he tried at Le Cellier Restaurant in Epcot at Disney World.
We pondered trying the original when we went to Le Cellier several years ago, but then reasoned that this version was so yummy, nothing could possibly be better (so we gorged ourselves on poutine instead. And then got sick from Too Much Poutine. But it was worth it). 🥰
Redline – Anime Review
While watching Promare’s spectacular animation, I was reminded quite a bit of Redline, and then when writing my Promare review, I realized I’d never actually reviewed Redline. So I’m here to remedy that.
Redline is a 2009 anime that follows the gloriously pompadoured Sweet JP as he and his Trans Am compete to win the titular race. Trouble is, he’s racing against a horde of drivers with wildly tricked-out vehicles that frequently include missiles and other ridiculousness as standard gear. And they’re all racing against the government of Roboworld, which doesn’t want them on its planet and won’t hesitate to unleash its full arsenal to stop them.
https://youtu.be/rRLPdgcGPRg
For viewer purposes, though, the plot is “VROOM VROOM DRIVE FAST” because this isn’t a movie you watch for plot. This is a movie you watch for its achievement – a completely hand-drawn animated feature film by a first time director who, through it, has already made his masterpiece. Redline took seven years to complete, and every second of it shows.
These days, with our glut of committee-produced CG animation franchises, it’s easy to forget that animation is indeed an art form capable of depicting motion and emotion in ways live action or even photorealistic CG can’t even approach. It’s hard not to look at the work of, say, Richard Williams, once you’ve picked your jaw up off the floor, and say “GOD. An actual human hand-drew all the pictures necessary to create that.” In Japan, Masaaki Yuasa’s work attains the same level of sheer detailed, exuberant weirdness, and Redline’s Takeshi Koike is also in that boat.
Redline’s basic design is a joy to behold. It’s bursting with so many unusual characters, cars, and background details that I find new things to stare at every time I watch, and they’re all delightfully nuts. The racers themselves are clearly the product of animators who were told to design whatever they wanted and not only ran with it, but jumped in a car and punched the Nos (or, in Redline’s world, steamlight) before they even landed in the seat.
But as delightful as they are to look at while static, they are simply amazing to watch in motion. While literally every scene is bursting with clever art direction and brilliant color, the racing scenes are (of course) where it’s at. The animation is so fluid that one might be tempted to think it’s CG, until you realize that the squash and stretch distortions necessary to create that kind of on-screen motion are just barely possible with today’s CG, and certainly weren’t in 2009. And then there are the moments when the film foregoes “realistic” motion altogether, as when JP uses his steamlight booster, where it stretches the character to impossible but no less energetic dimensions. That’s the word to describe Redline’s animation – energetic, and often downright exhilarating. The animators give attention to even the smallest details of their characters’ racing – the flapping of steamlight tubes, the incessant shaking of the car (and different parts of the car) as they barrel toward the finish line (or away from enemy bombs, lasers, biological weapons, what have you). Even individual missile shots have their own unique animations. It’s undeniably gratuitous, but it’s also essential to the heart-poundingly bonkers fun of the whole thing.
On that note, James Shimoji’s soundtrack also deserves a mention; it’s as quirky and energetic as the movie that it scores, even if many of its tracks are too short to be fully enjoyed independently of their role in the movie. (Most of the tracks on the album end just as they feel like they’re getting started.) However, the opening score in particular – “Yellow Line” – is a lengthy, thumping track that’ll have you wanting to hop in your own car and just speed everywhere. “Redline” is a fun medley of that and the main themes of the final racers, and “Kare No Shift Wa BunBunBun” is worth a listen just to hear the SuperBoins try to say “We are sexy girls” in English (as if you somehow missed that they are The Sexy Girls of the movie).
Admittedly, Redline isn’t a movie for everyone. Non-anime fans may find themselves distracted by its sheer, unbridled craziness, and the plot and characterization is so meager that it feels like it’s literally only there to be the vehicle by which the characters’ cars race. As much as I fangirl over this movie, I have to admit that it took me two or three watches to really get into it, so if you’re unimpressed by spectacle, Redline will never be your thing.
But if you have even the slightest appreciation for the art of animation and the energy of well-done anime, you’ll find a real treasure in this movie.
***
Note: Holo Writing is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and, as such, may earn a small commission from any product purchased through an affiliate link on this blog.
Promare – Anime Review
Pssh. Right, like a Trigger movie would come to our local theatre and it NOT be a Mandatory Date Night.
Promare starts with a literal bang, as half the world’s population spontaneously bursts into flames, thus marking the Great World Blaze and the appearance of the Burnish – people with fire-manipulating powers who set the world aflame not because they want to, but because they must. And when fire can literally attack – well, suddenly firefighters have a whole new job.
New to the Burnish-fighting/rescue operation Burning Rescue, Galo Thymos is a rookie firefighter with a burning soul and a city to save – but when he apprehends the leader of the terrorist organization Mad Burnish, he discovers a challenge far darker and more complex than he could have ever imagined.
Okay, first off – watch this movie. Just watch it. If you have ever been a fan of anything Trigger or Trigger-adjacent, it is a gift to your eyeballs.
Studio Trigger at its best has always been known for its spectacular, frenetic animation and design. Even the self-consciously low-budget Kill la Kill rocked every single frame of animation that ever touched a screen and Promare, with all the advantages of a movie budget, is so beautiful that I would have cried – had I not been occupied by fits of uncontrollable grinning.
See, Trigger knows what its fans want – namely bold, bombastic heroes, high tech robots hecking stuff up, and outright ridiculous action – and Promare dumps all that onto the screen as soon as it starts. It takes a break a little bit afterward for plot, but then goes right back to what we love with a third act full of so many mecha transformations and WTF moments that it’s hard not to leave the theatre in a state of sheer vibrating nerd bliss.
The plot, unfortunately, is not as strong as its execution. Not that it’s bad – it moves along at an engaging pace and there’s never a dull moment – but given what I’ve seen from other Trigger productions of its type, I expected more. Trigger at its best has a talent for taking a visual motif and weaving it through the entire theme of the work. In Gurren Lagann (not technically Trigger, but still its spiritual predecessor), the visual concept of a spiral connected the protagonist’s defining drill to the spiral of human DNA and eventually to the resilient, overcoming power of humanity itself. In Kill la Kill, the concept of threads and clothing…well. It’s complicated and clever and absolutely nuts, and quite frankly, it’s easier to just go watch Kill la Kill.
Thus, given that Promare starts with a bunch of angry people bursting into flame and the centrality of fire to all human life (After all, it was one of our first tools), I expected a commentary on the all-consuming and all-empowering natures of both anger and fire – especially relevant in today’s angry society – or perhaps some twist relating the thematic concept of fire to humanity as a whole. Instead the movie takes a far more simplistic direction, and though one of its major themes centers upon how humans treat each other, it’s handled in such a predictable way that it became the one truly disappointing part of the movie. But then, I fully concede that it was mainly disappointing in comparison to my expectations.
At the same time, though, half the fun of going into a Trigger work for me is imagining the ridiculous ways in which its visuals and design might tie into its theme, and while most works since Kill la Kill have let me down in that respect, the thought process is still so fun that I don’t plan to give it up.
The only other disappointing element was that Galo was, in fact, not actually a resurrected Kamina (from Gurren Lagann), despite having his same basic character design and personality, and I’m still perplexed by the studio’s choice to make Promare’s protagonist essentially identical to one of its most iconic characters. Though, given how much fan chat leading up to the movie centered around the mystery of “Is it Kamina or not?” perhaps it was merely a clever marketing move.
After all, Trigger has time and again shown itself to be clever with design, and Promare is no exception. The film absolutely gleams with style, from the simplicity of its cityscapes to its unusual color choices (The fire is pink and yellow) to its imaginative character designs to its aesthetic attention to even the most minute background details (There’s a polygonal visual motif that extends even to the movie’s lens flares).
Also, Hiroyuki Sawano’s (always) explosive musical score and Superfly’s fist-pumping pop themes are a pile of cherries on top of an already huge movie sundae – though let’s be real, Sawano could write a score to a blank screen and it would be the most exciting blank screen you’d ever watched or would ever watch again.
Overall, Promare was spectacularly worth the cost of a Fathom Events ticket, and it already has a designated space on my Blu-Ray shelf (whenever it finally releases). Viewers who are unfamiliar with Trigger may not appreciate all its stylistic tropes, but even new fans will recognize it for what it is – a bombastic love letter to us and everything we love about Trigger’s anime.
***
Note: Holo Writing is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and, as such, may earn a small commission from any product purchased through an affiliate link on this blog.
A Flash of Red – Book Review
Jacob’s sister wrote a book, too, you guys! 😀
Psychological thrillers are a bit out of my wheelhouse, but thanks to this one, I may have found a new genre worth exploring.
A Flash of Red by Sarah K. Stephens tells the intertwining stories of three characters: Anna Kline, a psychology professor afraid that she’s traveling down a dark family path; Sean, her husband, who struggles with feelings of inadequacy; and Bard, a student of Anna’s who has a particular interest in his professor and her subject matter, for potentially dark reasons of his own.
To say more would be to give away spoilers, as one of the novel’s greatest strengths is how it reveals its characters’ secrets and how it plays on reader expectations. As a new reader of psychological thrillers, I’m generally unaware of the genre’s tropes, but nonetheless I found myself tricked into making certain suppositions in each chapter, only to be surprised by the truth (or developing truth) of the matter some chapters later.
The chapters are also short and quick, which propels the story along at a healthy pace, and despite their length, they convey a lot of information. Stephens is efficient with her characterization, telling the reader exactly what they need to know when they need to know it, often in lovely turns of phrase.
Characterization is, of course, key in a genre as necessarily character driven as the psychological thriller, and Stephens deftly manipulates how readers view her characters from chapter to chapter, careful to balance their flaws and sympathies. Anna has a very real mental struggle, but she’s also a pretentious intellectual ass; Sean is a manipulative bastard, but he’s also unappreciated by his wife, despite genuine efforts to show his affection; Bard is deeply concerned for his professor and has legitimate reasons for asking her advice about schizophrenia, but he has a manipulative streak as well. Thing is, Stephens writes them so that, from scene to scene, the reader doesn’t know which traits are the dominant traits in each character; in some scenes, they’re all basically sympathetic, but the other scenes sneak a haunting “What if?” into the backs of readers minds.
A “What if?” which lingers even after the final page.
Engaging, fast-paced, and psychologically complex (especially for its length), A Flash of Red is a must-read for people who like to get into characters’ brains – even if they’re disturbed by what they find there.
***
Note: Holo Writing is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and, as such, may earn a small commission from any product purchased through an affiliate link on this blog.
The Messenger – Book Bomb
Hey, mecha fans! We know some of you are still reeling from the end of the Seraphim Revival series, and though we’re giving its characters a much-needed rest, we totally understand your need to read more action-packed giant robot goodness.
Luckily for you, one of our #authorbuds, Terry Maggert, teamed up with J.N. Chaney to release a thoroughly kick-butt giant robot space epic! 😀
H.P. just finished barreling through The Messenger, and if you’re a fan of Gundam, Voltron, Mass Effect, or really anything that involves big-a** tech blowing junk up in epic fashion, it’s a fun read!
Dash never asked to be a mech pilot, but fate has other plans.
On the run and out of chances, he guides his ship and crew into the heart of a relic older than the galaxy itself–and finds himself on the edge of an eternal war he never knew existed.
The relic is a mech, lost to history and forgotten by all who remain. Built by an ancient race to be the ultimate weapon, the machine is capable of unspeakable destruction, and its discovery could unhinge the balance of power throughout known space.
Worse still, the A.I. inside the machine speaks of an ancient evil that will soon arrive–a race whose power far exceeds anything humanity has ever witnessed.
Only the Messenger can stand against them, the A.I. tells its new pilot. Only you can do what must be done.
Even better, if you enjoy it, the sequel is already available for Pre-Order (Release Date Sunday, October 20th)! 😀
UPDATE 12.21.19: There are more! 😮
The Epic Tale of Nova
If you follow our Instagram, you’re familiar with Nova, Novabun, NovaNO, Catboss of Holo Writing, Occasional Typo Inserter, Blesser of Shoes, Stealer of Socks and General Queen of House Holo, but you haven’t heard the tale of how she earned those titles.
This is that epic tale.
Prologue
This is a story of two people:
One who politely tolerates animals, but would rather not put up with their mess.
And one whose first adult purchase was a house, whose second was a cat to put into that house, and who renovated her house so her cat could have maximum windowsill space on which to stretch out. And then got another cat.
This makes “I love you more than cats” the highest compliment the latter could have paid to the former.
This makes her decision to ease her cats from indoors to outdoors that much more meaningful.
This makes the fact that that they ran away right after discovering the wonders of outside that much more crushing. 😭
But as the latter said to the former, “I love you more than cats.”
…
This did not mean she would stop trying to adopt a new cat. 😈
Part 1
H.P. here. I entered adulthood like any women’s-college-educated millennial feminist, which is to say that I assumed I would spend my life assembling a horde of cats so that I might one day achieve my final form as Craziest Cat Lady Who Don’t Need No Man.
Then I met Jacob, who was basically Me But An Engineer And Also Organized, and figured my first plan was hecka boring by comparison.
But see, the thing about Jacob is that he’s tidy. Not fold-your-underwear and line-up-all-your-socks tidy, but definitely tidy enough that the sight of all the cat hair in my house on our first date made him wonder if maybe he had not in fact found his soul mate.
Spoiler Alert: He had. He just didn’t realize it until later.
I didn’t realize it until later, either, when it occurred to me that I’d be willing to move my cats outside, should sharing a house with Jacob ever be a thing that happened.
Spoiler Alert: He proposed, and it did, and so I began the process of introducing my cats Locke and Peek to The Outside.
Problem was, Locke and Peek enjoyed The Outside a little too much, and the first day I left them alone, they ran for freedom. It was a sad loss right before the wedding, but as a cat lady, I fully understand: cat’s gotta cat.
But also, cat lady’s gotta cat lady, and it wasn’t long before my inner cat lady re-emerged.
Throughout the early part of our marriage, Jacob and I mostly talked about three things: writing, video games, and why I deserved a cat. The latter was a very one-sided conversation.
See, where Jacob is 100% tidy, I and 100% NOT, and Jacob didn’t want to put up with both wife mess and cat mess, especially since he was statistically unlikely to enjoy any cat.
So we came to an agreement: We would get a cat when I either 1) fully cleaned the house to his satisfaction, or 2) finished The Wizard’s Quartet.
Jacob thought he was being clever because 1) was unlikely to ever happen and 2) would very likely happen, but would at least buy him a few guaranteed years of cat-free life.
He did not plan for Nova.
Part 2
Life happens, and so does sh*t, and both happened to us for a taxing year. In June 2014, I was diagnosed with melanoma, the most aggressive form of skin cancer. We caught it early enough that, after months of worry and doctors’ visits and surgery, it was fully eliminated, but the fact that it crept into my body from a mole that had been on my leg since childhood was rattling. And then, immediately after, we received the news that one of my grandmothers had left a similar weird skin spot unchecked. It turned out to be a melanoma, and it had developed into terminal cancer.
There are few experiences more disturbing than learning what you’re likely to die from and then having to watch as someone you love dies from that exact same thing. Her condition in her final days was such that, when she passed on Christmas Eve, the family all cried, but also released breaths we’d been holding for months – relief that she was no longer suffering.
Well. Most of us did. At the time, I saw too much of my own possible future in it.
Even though my personal experience with melanoma ended as well as cancer possibly can, those combined experiences unlocked a fear of every minor pain or ailment that rose up in me. Since cancer doesn’t necessarily hurt until it’s too late, I began to obsess over every minor unusual ache, wondering if each one somehow indicated a cell of melanoma that had escaped and metastasized into the hidden tumor that would be my undoing. In reality, most of these aches were simply weather or aging pains, but when one’s body is faced with its own mortality, one’s brain doesn’t necessarily handle it in a logical way. Those worries thus compounded and cumulated in the emergence of Generalized Anxiety Disorder, an ailment which affected me far longer than the cancer that incited it.
But this is not a story about cancer. This is a story about cats.
Part 3
Fast forward to July 2015. The cancer is done; the anxiety is in the process of being handled.
My intense desire to hug every cat is no secret, and it’s not uncommon for friends to send me info about cats in need of adopting and spoiling. Out of respect for Jacob’s emotions – after all, I’d put him through enough in the past year, and he’d been a marvelous support – I’d stopped asking for a cat.
But then my pal and beta reader Jennifer shared a fateful Facebook post.
Over the past several weeks, a cute little stray cat had come to visit her condo, deliver sweet little cat blessings, and then spirit off on her cat adventures, as cats do.
Until the day she visited with a massive gash torn in her side. 😧
To this day, we’re not sure what happened – most likely a fight with a dog – but luckily Jennifer was able to take her to That’s What Friends Are For, a local organization that provided the funds to stitch her up.
Jennifer wanted to keep the cat – who she’d named Nova by this point – and offered to house her while she recovered at the very least. However, it was not to be. Jennifer already had two other cats, and these cats were Not Having Nova.
Thus the Facebook post. Jennifer was willing to keep Nova until she healed, but wanted to be rid of her by early August, for both her family’s sanity and that of her cats.
Even in those sad surgery photos, Nova had an ineffable sweetness that curled up right in the space left by my old cats – and by all the stresses I’d been through in the year prior – so, daring to be optimistic, I asked Jennifer for more details about Nova. In the process I learned of her ever-gentle manner, her talkative affection, her general cleanliness, her hesitance to even scratch – all in more detail than I’d ever learn from a shelter or adoption center. I knew that this would be our cat.
Of course, Jacob said no.
Thus began Operation Nova.
I began subtly, sending occasional cute gifs of cats, often with captions like “This could be life with Nova.”
Then I upped my efforts. I began to send articles about how research showed cats to be reliable stress-reducers (a significant point for me back then), among other data-backed points. Engineers love data.
Nova was even named for a Starcraft character – his favorite tournaments to watch on YouTube at that time – and as far as I was concerned, a coincidence like that could be nothing but fate.
At this point, Jacob began to see how serious I was about this cat, and so modified his earlier ultimatum: If I cleaned the house and kept it clean for a significant length of time, I would be a step closer to earning my cat.
He didn’t think I would do it.
I did.
But as the deadline approached, Jacob still wasn’t sure.
So I pulled out my nuclear option.
Your happy cry this morning set me to thinking about all the awesome and not so awesome stuff we’ve been through in the short time since we married.
Namely that time during cancer summer when we thought my cancer might be terminal. I planned on doing something practical like quitting work and finishing my novel…but you, knowing how much I wanted a pet, wanted to get me a cat with which to spend my last days.
All this to say, I love you, husband. 🙂
BUT ALSO THAT IS TOTALLY UNFAIR THAT I KICKED CANCER’S BOOTAY AND AM ALL SORTS OF ALIVE AND STILL DO NOT HAVE A CAT.
JUST SAYIN’
P.S. Here is a hovercat in case that made you sad.
I love you!
HP
I picked up Nova that weekend.
Epilogue
That’s not even the end of it.
For though Nova was supposed to be My Cat, we discovered within a week that Jacob is The Cat Whisperer and his lap is apparently far superior to the lap that drove for hours on end to pick her up and bring her to her new home in another state.
Only He can feed her.
She knows what time He comes home and waits at the door for him.
When He sits anywhere, she is on his lap in 2 seconds. We’ve timed it.
When Jacob’s not home to feed her or be her throne, she looks at me like “Well, I guess you’ll do.”
But then she cuddles up with me all the same. She is, after all, sweetness incarnate, and Jacob and I wouldn’t have her any other way. ☺️
***
BTW, if you’re the donating type, please consider donating to That’s What Friends Are For (or your local animal shelter). Without them, our little catboss wouldn’t be alive right now, and we’re eternally grateful for the services they provide. 😊😊😊
LibertyCon Panel Schedule!
From one con, right to another! Here’s what we’ll be up to at LibertyCon in Chattanooga, TN! 😀 (Full schedule here.)
PANEL SCHEDULE:
CROSSING STEAMPUNK II
FRIDAY, June 28th @ 10pm – Meeting Room 7
D. Alan Lewis moderates this panel on writing and mixing genres that cross Steampunk.
Panelists: D. Alan Lewis, Quincy J. Allen, Dan Hollifield, H.P. Holo, Tamara Lowery
INDY AUTHOR RESOURCES PANEL
SATURDAY, June 29th @ 10am – Meeting Room 8
Bad Ash Publishing owner Melisa Todd moderates this panel on where to find the best tools to assist independent authors.
Panelists: Melisa Todd, Douglas Burbey, Jim Curtis, H.P. Holo, Dave Schroeder, John Van Stry
WHAT’S NEW IN YA FANTASY?
SATURDAY, June 29th @ 1pm – Meeting Rooms 9 & 10
David Butler moderates this roundtable on what’s new in young adult fantasy.
Panelists: David (D.J.) Butler, Taylor S. Hoch, H.P. Holo, Cedar Sanderson, Lydia Sherrer
WORLD BUILDING FOR SPACE OPERA
SATURDAY, June 29th @ 1pm – Meeting Rooms 4 & 5
Our panelists will discuss the nuances of good world building in Space Opera. Mark Wandrey moderates.
Panelists: Mark Wandrey, Jim Curtis, Doug Dandridge, C.S. Ferguson, Jacob Holo, Ian J. Malone
BAEN TRAVELING ROADSHOW AND PRIZE PATROL
SATURDAY, June 29th @ 2pm – Meeting Rooms 4 & 5
Toni Weisskopf will be running the crowd through the best of what’s going on in the Baen universe. (And there will be giveaways!)
Panelists: A whole bunch. Just go; it’s fun.
INDUSTRIAL vs. MECHA
SATURDAY, June 29th @ 5pm – Meeting Room 8
Industrial / Mechanical Engineers square off against Mecha authors to discuss “Mech” realism and the realm of the possible. William Joseph Roberts moderates.
Panelists: William Joseph Roberts, J.D. Beckwith, Jacob Holo, Jon R. Osborne, James Schardt, Chris Woods
READING WITH JACOB & H.P. HOLO
SATURDAY, June 29th @ 10pm – Lookout Mountain Room
Come out and have a seat as our author guests read passages of their works.
Panelists: Jacob & H.P. Holo
KAFFEEKLATSCH
SUNDAY, June 30th @ 10am – Tennessee River Room
Have coffee / continental breakfast and chat with the pros.
Panelists: A BUNCH.
SIGNING SCHEDULE:
FRIDAY, June 28th @ 6pm (Author’s Alley – Plaza Ballroom Mezzanine)
FRIDAY, June 28th @ 7pm (Autograph Session in Dealer’s Room – Plaza A/B/C Ballroom)
SATURDAY, June 29th @ 4pm (Author’s Alley – Plaza Ballroom Mezzanine)
SUNDAY, June 30th @ 11am (Author’s Alley – Plaza Ballroom Mezzanine)
ConCarolinas 2019 Con Update!
Sometimes you go to a con and have a fantabulous time, and then con crud sneaks up on you the moment you get home and knocks you on your butt. 😷
When that’s the worst you can say about a con, though, it’s a pretty good con. 😀
This was the first year that the stars and our schedules aligned for us to be at ConCarolinas in Charlotte, NC, and though we were insanely busy (ALL PANELS ALL THE TIME FOREVER), the fun was entirely worth the con crud.
Before we formally begin, though, we owe a special thanks to Guest Coordinator (and fellow author) John Hartness for allowing us in as last minute guests. We’d initially committed to LibertyCon for this weekend, but when LibertyCon changed dates (now June 28-30, btw), that left us some unexpected free time, and John was graciously willing to let us fill it at ConCarolinas. All that said, thanks, John! (Also go buy his stuff. And the stuff he publishes under Falstaff Books.)
ConCarolinas is one of those small cons that hides its size with huge enthusiasm and activity. Though a multi-fandom con, it places more emphasis on authors and books than most cons of its size, which meant that we were able to meet a bunch of new authors and add their books to our reading pile.
We hadn’t intended to come home with any new books because our pile is currently growing faster than it’s shrinking, but well…A.J. Hartley was a fellow guest, and Steeplejack has been on my to-read list forever, which was reason enough for me to just impulse buy the whole trilogy.
https://www.instagram.com/p/ByMGvDfALTr/
Then, when R.M. Hamrick described her space opera novellas as Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy meets Guardians of the Galaxy, we couldn’t resist snagging that, too.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Byd97LVgn9o/
Next, Jeffrey Bardwell, among other books, wrote a series about medieval steampunk wizards, so naturally I was all over that.
https://www.instagram.com/p/ByMHEaBgfoc/
Finally, I forgot to pick this up because by the end of the con I was 100% dead and incoherent, but Crymsyn Hart wrote a sci-fi romance titled Captured by the Alien Vampire Highlander which is something I think the world should know about for the title alone. (It’ll be on my digital reading pile soon.)
Speaking of books, we also need to give a special shout-out to Orielis Books, who carried our titles this weekend and also gave us an impromptu book-signing when we weren’t able to make our originally-scheduled signing on Friday. 😊
https://www.instagram.com/p/BydxsaHALdD/
They’ll be carrying some of our titles on their website and to other cons they visit, so be sure to check them out if you’re in need of some good reads!
Our adventures didn’t end with books, but you can find the rest of our ConCarolinas fun chronicled on our Instagram page.
And if you want to join us on our con adventures, come see us at LibertyCon, later this month in Chattanooga, TN!
Until then, happy reading! 😁
***
Note: Holo Writing is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and, as such, may earn a small commission from any product purchased through an affiliate link on this blog.
ConCarolinas Panel Schedule!
Our next convention stop is coming up this weekend! Here’s where you can find us at ConCarolinas in Charlotte, NC.
NOTE: The official schedule has us down for a Book Signing on Friday @ 2pm, but due to Other Job commitments (like…actually showing up to work 😜), we won’t be able to make it that day. However, if you find us at the con, we’ll be glad to sign for you. 🙂
THE BAEN BOOKS TRAVELING ROADSHOW
SATURDAY, June 1st @ 10am – Main Programming (Lakeshore 3&4)
Panelists: Tony Daniel, Nicole Givens Kurtz, David Weber, Jacob Holo
I LIKE BIG BOTS AND I CANNOT LIE
SATURDAY, June 1st @ 12pm – Lakeshore 2
Whether it’s Transformers, Gundams, or Jaegers, there’s no denying the popularity of giant robots in our media. Let’s talk about our favorite robots and why we think they’re such a prevalent fixture in our media and fandoms.
Panelists: Ramenwitch, Sherman Burris, Carol Cowles, Jacob Holo, Nickie Jamison
ARMING YOUR CHARACTERS
SATURDAY, June 1st @ 3pm – Keynes
What kinds of weapons are suitable for your story? Are there novels you’ve read in which the author handled weaponry in a unique way? How does the writer even learn about all this stuff?
Panelists: Nancy Northcott, Chris A. Jackson, Jacob Holo, Edward McKeown, Quincy J. Allen
SPACE OPERA
Saturday, June 1st @ 5pm – Keynes
From The Expanse to the Honorverse, stories set in space have always been thrilling. What makes outer space so exciting? Who are some of the best storytellers working out in the black?
Panelists: Tony Daniel, David Weber, Jacob Holo, Edward McKeown, Rebekah Hamrick
GASLAMP
SATURDAY, June 1st @ 7pm – Keynes
Melding fantasy and scifi – hey, you got dragons in my steampunk!
Panelists: Leann M. Rettell, H.P. Holo, Jeffrey Bardwell, Larry N. Martin, Jason Gilbert
ASK US ANYTHING
SATURDAY, June 1st @ 10pm – Walden
Our panelists answer your burning questions on anything – except writing. Ask about baking, the meaning of life, Flat Earth theory, their favorite composers – anything but writing! (Truth is not guaranteed).
Panelists: Dacre Stoker, Crymsyn Hart, D.R. Perry, Jacob & H.P. Holo
AN HOUR WITH…JACOB & H.P. HOLO
SUNDAY, June 2nd @ 10am – 3rd Floor Room
Join us for readings from The Gordian Protocol and The Wizard’s Way!
Panelists: Jacob & H.P. Holo
HOW MUCH SCIENCE DO YOU NEED TO KNOW TO WRITE SF?
SUNDAY, June 2nd @ 11am – Walden
Science fiction has “science” built right into the genre’s name, and many famous creators of classic works came had careers in science. But as the genre has evolved, the margins have gotten fuzzier. At what point does science fiction become pure fantasy? Are creators under any obligation to get their science right?
Panelists: James Maxey, Jacob Holo, Rebekah Hamrick, J.A. Sutherland, Michael Mammay
WRITING STRONG MAIN CHARACTERS
SUNDAY, June 2nd @ 1pm – Walden
What makes the protagonist that star of the show? Is it her story, or her personality? Maybe it’s the way he interacts with the people around him? Our panel talks about how to create main characters whose stories are the kind everyone wants to read.
Panelists: H.P. Holo, A.J. Hartley, Faith Hunter, David Weber, Stuart Jaffe
A BALANCING ACT: WORKING, WRITING, LIVING
SUNDAY, June 2nd @ 2pm – Walden
Few writers these days are only writers. Many of the writers you read are also working a day job, parenting, coaching, or just spending time doing other hobbies they enjoy. The panelists will discuss how they manage this balancing act, what they’ve learned about life and themselves through this process, and how others can successfully balance a full plate as well.
Panelists: D.R. Perry, H.P. Holo, Steve Murphy, Matthew Saunders, Aaron Rosenberg